Getting to write on a blog? This is exactly what I went to college for! Oh man, April was right, I'm getting a rush just by typing out these words. I feel like part of such a community.
Or maybe this rush is nausea because I'm writing in a moving car and motion sickness is an old enemy of mine. Either way I'd like to end this as soon as possible.
If this wasn't clear, this is Slicer. The doctor turned proxy turned hostage turned partner turned hopefully doctor again. If that wasn't clear to anyone, that process STARTED WITH BEING A DOCTOR. I had been a doctor for like three years, Picasso. And I would still be one if I had gotten any say in the matter. But noooo. So yeah, already a doctor, hoping to get back to practicing, even if just for the cell.
Knowing these guys they could do with having someone to patch them up. Tourniquet often needs more than just patching up from the things she does to herself, let alone going out on missions. And honestly most of them could use a psychiatrist too. Bishop's dealing with some serious trauma I assume since the kid doesn't freaking talk and she should probably have someone to help her with that. Plus I already mentioned Tourniquet who's a complete basket case. Having a homebody to just make her eat should improve the crazy chick's blood flow.
Seriously, I worry about these people. They cannot take care of themselves. Wal-Mart sells all kinds of fruits and vegetables and vitamin supplements but every time I see the cell they're stuffing their faces with the cheapest microwave meals and sugary snacks. Being a proxy seems more dangerous to cholesterol at this point. At least they get exercise.
Well, I'm getting off topic. As we have told you like three times now, Picasso and Navi and April and some of their buddies who I haven't met are coming back with Tracker and I to our cell. A "Fallen" cell, I think they've been calling it which is kind of rude, don't you think? I mean, we're still here and running. We're in the car now and somehow I'm the one who got stuck in the middle in the back. On the frickin' hump seat. AND I got passed the computer and told I had to update this stupid blog I've seen the girls posting on as if it matters.
Cause let me tell you, nebulous internet existence, I feel pretty stupid doing this. I hope that this thing doesn't become like, a regular exercise back at the Mart. There are so many better things I could be doing.
So I guess it's my duty to tell you that everyone's alive. They are. Very alive. I could not ever mistake them for dead considering how loudly they are singing along to some painfully cheery music I don't recognize on the radio with all the windows rolled down so the wind is getting my goddamn hair in my eyes and I can't hear myself think.
Okay, maybe this blog thing is a bit cathartic. Maybe I should write a poem about punching Picasso in the face. That should make me feel better.
Later,
Slicer
Monday, April 6, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Procrastination for the Win
You know what's better than getting paid to babysit the most tame runner ever?
Getting payed to sit around and do nothing while your boss is arguing with your friend's boss to figure out terms and conditions to a mutual union of our combined forces.
In order to make April's weird dream of making Slicer's dream of being a doctor come true, the Free Market is volunteering us (Me, Navi, and April) and a fire cultist, and mask cultist to work with the Fallen cell down in Atlanta for their mutual benefit. I have no idea what Fracture and the Free Market is getting out of this. Just... creating dependency on the Free Market maybe? I suppose that's how the Islamic states of old and Romans did it. Not that that worked out for anyone in the long run in either case. But learning from the mistakes of history is over rated! I'm getting a new proxy cell to play with!
Eventually. I'm gonna be honest, I have been going to great pains to keep negotiations going and communication between our organization strained just so I can enjoy a bit of vacation time before they actually send me to Atlanta to do what I'm assuming will be actual work. But Fracture called to let me know everything to the greenlight today so I guess the honeymoon is over. Hate sundays. They're almost as bed as the coming mondays. Just this sensation of your freedom dying.
Oh well, such is proxy life I suppose. Live to serve.
I'm told there are a few hiccups. Apparently Slicer's boss, Duke, refuses to acknowledge April as a proxy. Which is weird. The old Bureaucracy system the fallen still worship was real big on making people who weren't actually proxies (Some had never seen or heard of the slender man) do proxy work so I don't see the issue. Play into your stereotype asshole!
Second issue, is apparently whether Slicer is actually getting that position as a home body is still up for grabs. Which is insane. Because that's the entire point. Feel like that part isn't debatable?
Final issue is Tracker is a smug asshole with a hidden agenda. He about crapped himself when I proposed this whole idea and I don't know why. If he was so against it, I don't know why he gave it an honest pitch to his boss. I don't understand anything he does. Hes hard to pin down. Something is definitely going on there but I don't know what his angle is. Also worry Navi might have a little crush on him or something? I don't know. Shes painfully awkward. I think Tracker might be the only person we've run into since we left the Free Market who isn't outwardly insane or an asshole and maybe shes just enjoying the company of someone who doesn't /appear/ to be crazy.
But I hold true that theres some shit going on there. Hes probably secretly as asshole... and crazy... I'd question if hes cozy but must things with a pulse are. Hell somethings without pulse are too. Shits cozy. It hides the crazy.
Picasso out!
Getting payed to sit around and do nothing while your boss is arguing with your friend's boss to figure out terms and conditions to a mutual union of our combined forces.
In order to make April's weird dream of making Slicer's dream of being a doctor come true, the Free Market is volunteering us (Me, Navi, and April) and a fire cultist, and mask cultist to work with the Fallen cell down in Atlanta for their mutual benefit. I have no idea what Fracture and the Free Market is getting out of this. Just... creating dependency on the Free Market maybe? I suppose that's how the Islamic states of old and Romans did it. Not that that worked out for anyone in the long run in either case. But learning from the mistakes of history is over rated! I'm getting a new proxy cell to play with!
Eventually. I'm gonna be honest, I have been going to great pains to keep negotiations going and communication between our organization strained just so I can enjoy a bit of vacation time before they actually send me to Atlanta to do what I'm assuming will be actual work. But Fracture called to let me know everything to the greenlight today so I guess the honeymoon is over. Hate sundays. They're almost as bed as the coming mondays. Just this sensation of your freedom dying.
Oh well, such is proxy life I suppose. Live to serve.
I'm told there are a few hiccups. Apparently Slicer's boss, Duke, refuses to acknowledge April as a proxy. Which is weird. The old Bureaucracy system the fallen still worship was real big on making people who weren't actually proxies (Some had never seen or heard of the slender man) do proxy work so I don't see the issue. Play into your stereotype asshole!
Second issue, is apparently whether Slicer is actually getting that position as a home body is still up for grabs. Which is insane. Because that's the entire point. Feel like that part isn't debatable?
Final issue is Tracker is a smug asshole with a hidden agenda. He about crapped himself when I proposed this whole idea and I don't know why. If he was so against it, I don't know why he gave it an honest pitch to his boss. I don't understand anything he does. Hes hard to pin down. Something is definitely going on there but I don't know what his angle is. Also worry Navi might have a little crush on him or something? I don't know. Shes painfully awkward. I think Tracker might be the only person we've run into since we left the Free Market who isn't outwardly insane or an asshole and maybe shes just enjoying the company of someone who doesn't /appear/ to be crazy.
But I hold true that theres some shit going on there. Hes probably secretly as asshole... and crazy... I'd question if hes cozy but must things with a pulse are. Hell somethings without pulse are too. Shits cozy. It hides the crazy.
Picasso out!
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Hope Triumphs Where All Else Fails!
Yep. I did it. Nobody really believed I could, but I did. Yay me! ^_^
I mean, I read these blogs, guys. Picasso and Navi, you know I read this blog and so I know you think I'm crazy! I know you were just humoring me because it was your job or whatever. But you didn't ever really think that there was any way to improve anything. That's why you never tried to. And that's why you secretly laughed at me for believing that with optimism and perseverance even a terrible life can be made better!
But this is why I always remind you all to smile :)
If things are bad now that just means that the only way to go is up.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of work before it happens, but if that's all I'm here on this earth to accomplish then I will do it happily. Helping others is all I care about.
I met Slicer (yes Slicer, not Slypher. He's been bugging me about it and of course I would never want to do anything that makes him unhappy!) a couple of months ago now. Time is hard to keep track of! Not that it really matters, it's not like I'm rushing off to do anything important. Just towards death like everybody else :D
When I met my friend Slicer, I could tell that he was in a really bad place in his life. Sure, he was torturing me, but I could tell that it was really hurting him in a less physical way. The old, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. Because Slicer is a really really kind and funny person. He's sweet and all he's ever wanted to do in his life was help people. I couldn't let a person like that suffer!
See, I used to be a prison psychiatrist. And sometimes when I would look into the eyes of people that had been condemned as horrible by the rest of the world, I'd see trapped, crying children. I helped to free them. I led them out and helped them smile. I knew I could save Slicer too, and I have.
With everyone's help of course!
I knew that all he needed was to hang out with more of his proxy friends. See, his buddy Tracker came to hang out with us! He's here now, he's on the phone actually, and he's super duper nice! He and Slicer get along so well, just like him and Picasso except less insults!
Remember when I said that Slicer used to be a doctor? And that if we could just convince his friends to let him stop torturing people and start doctoring again it'd make him so much happier? Well Picasso said that if the cell he's from were big enough they would be able to keep Slicer on staff as a full time DOCTOR!!!! Isn't that just the most amazingly wonderfulest thing ever?
So Piccolo and Navi and I and some other peoples Picasso knows are going to be hanging out with Tracker and Slicer's cell family for a while! I can't wait to meet them! Slicer has told me a bit about them and they just sound AMAZING!
Picasso and Tracker are on the phones with their respective bosses right now working out the details, but I can't imagine why either would complain. It would make Slicer so so happy! And a new adventure for the rest of us!
Not that I'm going to be a proxy, of course. I will hang out with them and help them out but I will never do what that monster tells me to ever! ^_^
And so (as if more even needs to be added on) a list of things to be happy about today!
I mean, I read these blogs, guys. Picasso and Navi, you know I read this blog and so I know you think I'm crazy! I know you were just humoring me because it was your job or whatever. But you didn't ever really think that there was any way to improve anything. That's why you never tried to. And that's why you secretly laughed at me for believing that with optimism and perseverance even a terrible life can be made better!
But this is why I always remind you all to smile :)
If things are bad now that just means that the only way to go is up.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of work before it happens, but if that's all I'm here on this earth to accomplish then I will do it happily. Helping others is all I care about.
I met Slicer (yes Slicer, not Slypher. He's been bugging me about it and of course I would never want to do anything that makes him unhappy!) a couple of months ago now. Time is hard to keep track of! Not that it really matters, it's not like I'm rushing off to do anything important. Just towards death like everybody else :D
When I met my friend Slicer, I could tell that he was in a really bad place in his life. Sure, he was torturing me, but I could tell that it was really hurting him in a less physical way. The old, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. Because Slicer is a really really kind and funny person. He's sweet and all he's ever wanted to do in his life was help people. I couldn't let a person like that suffer!
See, I used to be a prison psychiatrist. And sometimes when I would look into the eyes of people that had been condemned as horrible by the rest of the world, I'd see trapped, crying children. I helped to free them. I led them out and helped them smile. I knew I could save Slicer too, and I have.
With everyone's help of course!
I knew that all he needed was to hang out with more of his proxy friends. See, his buddy Tracker came to hang out with us! He's here now, he's on the phone actually, and he's super duper nice! He and Slicer get along so well, just like him and Picasso except less insults!
Remember when I said that Slicer used to be a doctor? And that if we could just convince his friends to let him stop torturing people and start doctoring again it'd make him so much happier? Well Picasso said that if the cell he's from were big enough they would be able to keep Slicer on staff as a full time DOCTOR!!!! Isn't that just the most amazingly wonderfulest thing ever?
So Piccolo and Navi and I and some other peoples Picasso knows are going to be hanging out with Tracker and Slicer's cell family for a while! I can't wait to meet them! Slicer has told me a bit about them and they just sound AMAZING!
Picasso and Tracker are on the phones with their respective bosses right now working out the details, but I can't imagine why either would complain. It would make Slicer so so happy! And a new adventure for the rest of us!
Not that I'm going to be a proxy, of course. I will hang out with them and help them out but I will never do what that monster tells me to ever! ^_^
And so (as if more even needs to be added on) a list of things to be happy about today!
- I get to meet a whole bunch more people who I can make happier!
- My wonderful friend Carter is coming to America! We're in Atlanta if you ever want to hang out! (I'll keep an ear out for anyone named Sam!)
- I have a SECOND rainbow dress!
- Waffles! Oh, and pancakes! Breakfast foods are delicious!
- Tracker and Slicer are reunited at last! Friendship is Amazing!
- There is an unending number of people in this world to make friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.
Smile!
A-P-R-I-L-!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Free Slicer
Its just not as fun as a caged slicer. Or a free willie. Few things are more fun than killer whales really, and most are no where near as deadly. Fortunately slicer is also not dangerous free... so I guess this a wash?
... Dear god I'm starting to sound like PaKaSo... I wonder if delusional psychopathy is contagious... how would it spread?
Word of mouth? Does that make it like Mono? Is it a kissing disease?
... Ew... How the in devil did I catch that? I feel violated.
I... May have gotten ahead of myself somewhere in there. Lets scale back to old news first and at this point it really is old news. They were harping on that poor girl for days.
Devil and Picasso apparently weren't satisfied with Aprils insistence that she was happy. Between you and me, she wasn't. She was angry and sad. But would clear up and then they'd harp on it some more and she'd get upset again.
Apparently PiKaSo decided the right fix for this was to do something April loved to make absolutely sure she was happy. And if that sounds like something April would say, that's because it is. April seems to be starting to rub off on PiKaSo and it's freaking me out... at least in concept it is. I mean, not getting assaulted every other day for fun is nice but I keep finding rainbow notes in my pocket's that read 'smile' and its freaking me out. At least I can fight back when Picasso assault me. There's something to be learned there. But at this rate I'm afraid I'm gonna roll up my sleeves to do something and find rainbow 'Smile' graffiti coating my entire arm. Wheres the lesson in that? Its just fucking humiliating.
Anyways... So Picasso took April out to give her a surprise gift to cheer her up since she apparently loves surprises... which seems foolish to me. Surprises have been historically terrible.
Apparently, again I wasn't there so this is all second had really leaving you to question why the fuck I have to write this report, Picasso tried to surprise her with several things and the one that worked best was a new rainbow dress... April is delightfully simple.
I don't know that the surprise helped but I can say this, April is no longer sad or frustrated and Picasso spent the next two days giggling and smiling to herself like a fucking hyena... so says Slicer.
And that brings us to the topic I already ruined once with mindless rambling.
We had to untie Slicer. Fracture's orders. Picasso was not happy about that. From what I could tell, she threatened Slicer before she cut him free. I handed the poor dolt a laptop so he could read why he was being let go and relax.
He seemed pretty releaved. I don't blame him. I can't even see Picasso and I still find her scary... I wonder if thats why I find her scary.... huh.
After that they spent like, an entire hour cracking passive aggressive jokes at each other like a 70 year old married couple. Apparently the dutch are pig fuckers? I don't know. I could only hear Slicer's side of the conversation and shit got weird before it suddenly went silent. I had to stand up and make sure it hadn't got quiet because Picasso slit Slicer's throat or something
So yeah. Slicers free now... and apparently his friend Tracker is coming up to check on him and make sure we aren't miss using him or something...
He sounds like a total badass.
I'm a little worried. I'm the only badass around her.
Navi out
... Dear god I'm starting to sound like PaKaSo... I wonder if delusional psychopathy is contagious... how would it spread?
Word of mouth? Does that make it like Mono? Is it a kissing disease?
... Ew... How the in devil did I catch that? I feel violated.
I... May have gotten ahead of myself somewhere in there. Lets scale back to old news first and at this point it really is old news. They were harping on that poor girl for days.
Devil and Picasso apparently weren't satisfied with Aprils insistence that she was happy. Between you and me, she wasn't. She was angry and sad. But would clear up and then they'd harp on it some more and she'd get upset again.
Apparently PiKaSo decided the right fix for this was to do something April loved to make absolutely sure she was happy. And if that sounds like something April would say, that's because it is. April seems to be starting to rub off on PiKaSo and it's freaking me out... at least in concept it is. I mean, not getting assaulted every other day for fun is nice but I keep finding rainbow notes in my pocket's that read 'smile' and its freaking me out. At least I can fight back when Picasso assault me. There's something to be learned there. But at this rate I'm afraid I'm gonna roll up my sleeves to do something and find rainbow 'Smile' graffiti coating my entire arm. Wheres the lesson in that? Its just fucking humiliating.
Anyways... So Picasso took April out to give her a surprise gift to cheer her up since she apparently loves surprises... which seems foolish to me. Surprises have been historically terrible.
Apparently, again I wasn't there so this is all second had really leaving you to question why the fuck I have to write this report, Picasso tried to surprise her with several things and the one that worked best was a new rainbow dress... April is delightfully simple.
I don't know that the surprise helped but I can say this, April is no longer sad or frustrated and Picasso spent the next two days giggling and smiling to herself like a fucking hyena... so says Slicer.
And that brings us to the topic I already ruined once with mindless rambling.
We had to untie Slicer. Fracture's orders. Picasso was not happy about that. From what I could tell, she threatened Slicer before she cut him free. I handed the poor dolt a laptop so he could read why he was being let go and relax.
He seemed pretty releaved. I don't blame him. I can't even see Picasso and I still find her scary... I wonder if thats why I find her scary.... huh.
After that they spent like, an entire hour cracking passive aggressive jokes at each other like a 70 year old married couple. Apparently the dutch are pig fuckers? I don't know. I could only hear Slicer's side of the conversation and shit got weird before it suddenly went silent. I had to stand up and make sure it hadn't got quiet because Picasso slit Slicer's throat or something
So yeah. Slicers free now... and apparently his friend Tracker is coming up to check on him and make sure we aren't miss using him or something...
He sounds like a total badass.
I'm a little worried. I'm the only badass around her.
Navi out
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Surprise!
Surprises are fun. I love surprise parties and surprise presents and surprise hugs and such. It is that moment of not knowing that it is coming that makes it even better than something expected!
So basically, Picasso has been working really hard, keeping watch over me and helping out and buying movies and pizza and my beautiful rainbow dress and all that, so Navi and I wanted to thank her! Plus she was seeming kind of sad and mopey because her boyfriend Mr. Moth was having his mask shattered and she must have really liked that mask because even though it was apparently his choice to have it broken she was upset about it.
Also the fact that apparently he's going to die soon or something, but he also chose that for himself so I don't think she should be upset about it! No reason to lose that beautiful smile!
So to try and cheer up our friend, Navi and I decided to plan a surprise for her while she was out. Mostly Navi because Navi is Picasso's best friend and even though they fight all the time they have a really deep bond. I can tell.
Navi said she didn't think that Picasso would like a party or anything but I remembered that she had said she liked painting with blood which she obviously hasn't gotten to do lately so I figured she'd be really pumped for the opportunity. But Navi said that she wouldn't paint except on full walls, so I figured we couldn't use the hotel. I found a local warehouse that she could use and offered to drain my blood to fill up some blood packs so that eventually we'd have enough for a mural. But Navi, the sweet thing she is, refused to let me use my own blood and said that she would take the burden of draining all on to herself.
I have such nice friends! ^_^
Well we were all set up and amassing blood and then we have our big meet up with my buddy Slypher and so we end up leaving the city! Awkward! So basically we had to be super spy sneaky sneak the blood packets into our packing. Luckily I picked up a few tricks from my time in the FBI.
Have I not told you guys about that? It was pretty awesome. I used to crawl through vents and use a grappling hook with the best of them. But I had to retire from the force when there was a conflict of interest. I'm sure they were sad to see their best agent go, but that Russian spy had captured my heart which I prize over my head. We are madly in love. It's very dramatic.
Anyway, now that we were in this new place I had to find a WHOLE NEW warehouse! So I scoped out some places when I could but mainly Navi searched cause Picasso's very nervous about letting me out by myself. Such a sweetheart.
And finally I was able to give it to her! I took her to the warehouse and showed her the blood and she drew a picture.
Then we left! And ate dinner. And that's how to plan a good surprise! I think Picasso was really happy, and also super not expecting it which just makes it even better!
So finally, your things to be happy about today!
So basically, Picasso has been working really hard, keeping watch over me and helping out and buying movies and pizza and my beautiful rainbow dress and all that, so Navi and I wanted to thank her! Plus she was seeming kind of sad and mopey because her boyfriend Mr. Moth was having his mask shattered and she must have really liked that mask because even though it was apparently his choice to have it broken she was upset about it.
Also the fact that apparently he's going to die soon or something, but he also chose that for himself so I don't think she should be upset about it! No reason to lose that beautiful smile!
So to try and cheer up our friend, Navi and I decided to plan a surprise for her while she was out. Mostly Navi because Navi is Picasso's best friend and even though they fight all the time they have a really deep bond. I can tell.
Navi said she didn't think that Picasso would like a party or anything but I remembered that she had said she liked painting with blood which she obviously hasn't gotten to do lately so I figured she'd be really pumped for the opportunity. But Navi said that she wouldn't paint except on full walls, so I figured we couldn't use the hotel. I found a local warehouse that she could use and offered to drain my blood to fill up some blood packs so that eventually we'd have enough for a mural. But Navi, the sweet thing she is, refused to let me use my own blood and said that she would take the burden of draining all on to herself.
I have such nice friends! ^_^
Well we were all set up and amassing blood and then we have our big meet up with my buddy Slypher and so we end up leaving the city! Awkward! So basically we had to be super spy sneaky sneak the blood packets into our packing. Luckily I picked up a few tricks from my time in the FBI.
Have I not told you guys about that? It was pretty awesome. I used to crawl through vents and use a grappling hook with the best of them. But I had to retire from the force when there was a conflict of interest. I'm sure they were sad to see their best agent go, but that Russian spy had captured my heart which I prize over my head. We are madly in love. It's very dramatic.
Anyway, now that we were in this new place I had to find a WHOLE NEW warehouse! So I scoped out some places when I could but mainly Navi searched cause Picasso's very nervous about letting me out by myself. Such a sweetheart.
And finally I was able to give it to her! I took her to the warehouse and showed her the blood and she drew a picture.
Then we left! And ate dinner. And that's how to plan a good surprise! I think Picasso was really happy, and also super not expecting it which just makes it even better!
So finally, your things to be happy about today!
- Olive Garden has unlimited breadsticks!
- I still have all my blood!
- It was just Valentines! Think about someone you love and smile!
- Grappling hooks have been invented. That's just super sweet!
- I woke up really early this morning and got to see Navi's adorable sleeping face!
- There is a numberless number of people in the world to become friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.
Smile!
A-P-R-I-L-!
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Broken Brush
So, things got weird today.
April, Miss Fally as I like to call her, wanted to show me a surprise! Which was cool at first. I like to be treated as much as the next person. So I was happy to oblige and close my eyes for her... right up until the point where she opened the door and tried to lead me outside.
"Uhhh.... just how far are we going April sweety?"
"A few blocks," she said as if that was perfectly normal. That wasn't fucking happening.
"I'm not walking down the street with my eyes closed for 'a few blocks'," I insisted. That's about when I noticed Slicer and Navi behind me. "What are they coming to?!"
"Of course silly! So we can share in the feels!"
"We can't take Slicer. I don't want him flagging down police to come rescue him from us. Bound as he is, he'll draw a lot of attention."
"Oh..."
I slammed the door behind us. "Navi can babysit. It'll be just you and me."
"Aww... fine," she grumped and then grinned.
"Good!" I smiled back and we started down the street.
I'm really, really glad I didn't let her talk me into walking there with my eyes closed. We went to the trashiest back alley I've seen in a good long while.
"Time for the surprise, close your eyes now!"
"Uhh.... is the surprise that I'm getting mugged?"
"That certainly would be surprising," she said putting hands over my eyes impatiently and pressing her body against my back to forcibly push me forward into the scary looking warehouse we had stopped in front of.
'Please don't steal my organs, please don't steal my organ, please don't steal my organs,' I whispered to myself.
April let her hands off my face. By this point I had closed my eyes on my own a little afraid to open them.
"Behold!" she declared.
I opened my eyes to find a cooler full of ice in front of me. 'Fuck, shes gonna steal my organs.'
"Isn't it great?!" she asked pulling a blood pack out of the ice.
".... What?"
"So you can paint!" she declared. I walked over to the cooler to find it was full of blood packs. I don't mention this often but I only paint murals and I only paint them in blood. Its complicated. I don't want to get into it.
"Oh," I said looking up at the bare disgusting warehouse walls. "We can do that."
Her bright smile waved a little, you know, like a psychopathic mother's might in a cartoon after she spends all night making dinner and all the father has to say about it is 'Oh, it was alright.' That kind of horrific lip quiver.
So I gave her a big bright smile and a hug. "I love it," I giggled. "I...! Am gonna paint you something. What should I paint?"
"Ummm... I don't know."
"Pick something! I want it to be special."
"I want a meadow and flowers and wavy tree.... and a big horse with a fire mane!"
"One /THAT/ coming right up!"
From there on I spent the next few hours hard at work painting. The fire mane was the hardest. Takes a lot of detail to depict fire with just one color. Had to go over that part with a lighter to give it color and texture. When I finally finished I collapsed against the wall content that my work was done.
April... did not seem pleased.
"Picasso.... what is that?" she asked. She was not smiling.
"Uh... A horse," and crawled over and sat beside her with an exhausted huff.
It was not a house. It was two children. One a teenage boy and one a little girl. They were in raggedy clothes and were standing in a beautiful meadow. You could see their hair and their bright beautiful grins... but not their ears, noses, eyes, or really any other part of their faces. Just their grin and their hair.
'FUCK FUCK FUCK' I shouted in my head. My fucking brush had painted something else on me again. It keeps fucking doing that. It pissing my off to no fucking end.
"What, is /that/!" asked April sounding absolutely pissed.
"Uh.... Children?" I asked, as I noticed my tree had turned out wrong too. Instead of a tree, it looked like Father was looming over the children. How the fuck did I miss that?!
April didn't say another word. She got up and rush out the door.
I practically had to chase her down.
"What wrong?" I demanded to know, grabbing her hand.
"Nothings wrong. Why would anything be wrong. Happy, we're happy here. Silver linings is.... were happy," she says forcing a very weak grin.
"April, talk to me."
"We... I, I just don't like children okay."
"I thought you said you loved children?"
"I d-did? Then I do. I love children, lets go see some children somewhere else," she said trying to pull away. I pulled her back.
"April, talk to me. The truth, for once!"
"I dislike children... they make me uncomfortable! Let's talk about something else!"
I nodded and pulled her into a hug. She finally stopped shaking. "I loved my present. I missed painting," I said before letting her go. She looked a little shy and I watched a real grin find a place on her face again.
"Don't forget to thank Navi too! It was her blood."
"I won't" I said sounding a little more thrilled that I really meant to be. Don't really know why I was so happy. Really no way to tell if April was telling the truth. I think she would have told me anything to get away from that building. I should have exploited that more maybe.
We laughed and hugged again, a little less awkwardly this time, granted I think she only hugged me to drag me further down the street inconspicuously.
We went out to eat after that and before long April was back to her loopy, grinning, goofy self. We brought some food back for Navi and Slicer too since they couldn't go with us. Navi whined about not getting to eat out. Other than that her night seemed to have gone fine. She apparently had a handless fight with Slicer and kicked his ass.
Slicer continues to be a whimp. A title I do believe will immortalize him. Really captures his essence.
Hehehe. Picasso out.
April, Miss Fally as I like to call her, wanted to show me a surprise! Which was cool at first. I like to be treated as much as the next person. So I was happy to oblige and close my eyes for her... right up until the point where she opened the door and tried to lead me outside.
"Uhhh.... just how far are we going April sweety?"
"A few blocks," she said as if that was perfectly normal. That wasn't fucking happening.
"I'm not walking down the street with my eyes closed for 'a few blocks'," I insisted. That's about when I noticed Slicer and Navi behind me. "What are they coming to?!"
"Of course silly! So we can share in the feels!"
"We can't take Slicer. I don't want him flagging down police to come rescue him from us. Bound as he is, he'll draw a lot of attention."
"Oh..."
I slammed the door behind us. "Navi can babysit. It'll be just you and me."
"Aww... fine," she grumped and then grinned.
"Good!" I smiled back and we started down the street.
I'm really, really glad I didn't let her talk me into walking there with my eyes closed. We went to the trashiest back alley I've seen in a good long while.
"Time for the surprise, close your eyes now!"
"Uhh.... is the surprise that I'm getting mugged?"
"That certainly would be surprising," she said putting hands over my eyes impatiently and pressing her body against my back to forcibly push me forward into the scary looking warehouse we had stopped in front of.
'Please don't steal my organs, please don't steal my organ, please don't steal my organs,' I whispered to myself.
April let her hands off my face. By this point I had closed my eyes on my own a little afraid to open them.
"Behold!" she declared.
I opened my eyes to find a cooler full of ice in front of me. 'Fuck, shes gonna steal my organs.'
"Isn't it great?!" she asked pulling a blood pack out of the ice.
".... What?"
"So you can paint!" she declared. I walked over to the cooler to find it was full of blood packs. I don't mention this often but I only paint murals and I only paint them in blood. Its complicated. I don't want to get into it.
"Oh," I said looking up at the bare disgusting warehouse walls. "We can do that."
Her bright smile waved a little, you know, like a psychopathic mother's might in a cartoon after she spends all night making dinner and all the father has to say about it is 'Oh, it was alright.' That kind of horrific lip quiver.
So I gave her a big bright smile and a hug. "I love it," I giggled. "I...! Am gonna paint you something. What should I paint?"
"Ummm... I don't know."
"Pick something! I want it to be special."
"I want a meadow and flowers and wavy tree.... and a big horse with a fire mane!"
"One /THAT/ coming right up!"
From there on I spent the next few hours hard at work painting. The fire mane was the hardest. Takes a lot of detail to depict fire with just one color. Had to go over that part with a lighter to give it color and texture. When I finally finished I collapsed against the wall content that my work was done.
April... did not seem pleased.
"Picasso.... what is that?" she asked. She was not smiling.
"Uh... A horse," and crawled over and sat beside her with an exhausted huff.
It was not a house. It was two children. One a teenage boy and one a little girl. They were in raggedy clothes and were standing in a beautiful meadow. You could see their hair and their bright beautiful grins... but not their ears, noses, eyes, or really any other part of their faces. Just their grin and their hair.
'FUCK FUCK FUCK' I shouted in my head. My fucking brush had painted something else on me again. It keeps fucking doing that. It pissing my off to no fucking end.
"What, is /that/!" asked April sounding absolutely pissed.
"Uh.... Children?" I asked, as I noticed my tree had turned out wrong too. Instead of a tree, it looked like Father was looming over the children. How the fuck did I miss that?!
April didn't say another word. She got up and rush out the door.
I practically had to chase her down.
"What wrong?" I demanded to know, grabbing her hand.
"Nothings wrong. Why would anything be wrong. Happy, we're happy here. Silver linings is.... were happy," she says forcing a very weak grin.
"April, talk to me."
"We... I, I just don't like children okay."
"I thought you said you loved children?"
"I d-did? Then I do. I love children, lets go see some children somewhere else," she said trying to pull away. I pulled her back.
"April, talk to me. The truth, for once!"
"I dislike children... they make me uncomfortable! Let's talk about something else!"
I nodded and pulled her into a hug. She finally stopped shaking. "I loved my present. I missed painting," I said before letting her go. She looked a little shy and I watched a real grin find a place on her face again.
"Don't forget to thank Navi too! It was her blood."
"I won't" I said sounding a little more thrilled that I really meant to be. Don't really know why I was so happy. Really no way to tell if April was telling the truth. I think she would have told me anything to get away from that building. I should have exploited that more maybe.
We laughed and hugged again, a little less awkwardly this time, granted I think she only hugged me to drag me further down the street inconspicuously.
We went out to eat after that and before long April was back to her loopy, grinning, goofy self. We brought some food back for Navi and Slicer too since they couldn't go with us. Navi whined about not getting to eat out. Other than that her night seemed to have gone fine. She apparently had a handless fight with Slicer and kicked his ass.
Slicer continues to be a whimp. A title I do believe will immortalize him. Really captures his essence.
Hehehe. Picasso out.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Fun Times with Fun Friends!
Sometimes there are times in your life that you stop and just realize that everything in this world is so amazingly beautiful!
Take the past week of my life, for example. I'm both no longer being tortured and I get to hang out all day with my three best buddies! Everything works out well if you believe that it will! There's no point to wallowing in worst-case-scenarios. Don't see the glass as empty, see it as potentially fillable with water! Or delicious juice! Or whatever you please! There are lots of yummy drinks to enjoy in this world!
So it's been me and my girl Picasso and our color vision sweetheart Navi and my newest pal Slypher! You remember him, he's that one who was having the issue waaaaaay back in the beginning about not being able to properly enjoy his job of cutting people up and sewing them back together. Though Picasso says that it was just his own personal touch to sew his cuts back up and wasn't part of his job at all!
What a creative guy! No wonder he was such a valued employee by his boss and his friends!
Plus, it helped me totally not bleed out on the floor which would have wrecked an otherwise lovely hotel room and probably would have been quite the annoyance for the cleaning staff. He's just a big softy, that's what I say. A total sweetheart.
But I'm not one to suppose why others do things, so I decided to ask him myself why he has such a flair for stitches! Pulled him out from under the bed and gave him some water since a lot of times Picasso forgets to give him drinks if we leave her in charge of it. Such a silly one, that Picasso! Seems like she'd have a great memory, but every time we ask about Slypher it's like she's completely forgotten he was there! And she always talks about forgetting about him strangely loud while staring right at where he is under the bed. What a silly!
Anyway, I asked Slypher what his deal was with the stitches. And he said (and he got all pouty and red faced when he said it, the cutie) that he wasn't used to making incisions without closing them back up again. It was second nature to try and keep the blood inside the patient.
Can you believe that? My new friend Slypher is a doctor just like me! We have so much in common! We can talk about doctor stuff like needles and medicine and have a great bonding happy fun time! I'm excited. He insists that he 'isn't a doctor anymore, he gave up being a doctor when he stopped saving people', but that just sounds like defeatist talk to me.
I think he REALLY REALLY liked being a doctor! When he was telling me about how he used to be one he smiled! And, let us not forget that that was the original motive of everything! He seems to have given up on it, but I would never let him give up his dreams! I'm sure that if we talked to them his proxy friends would be happy to let him go back to being a doctor if we explain that torturing people isn't really up his alley.
I'll go talk to Picasso about it, she was out buying food when I talked with him about this, so she doesn't know the plan, but I think she'd be all in favor! Her and Slypher get along super duper well. They're always firing off quips at each other like an old married couple! ^_^ It's completely adorable.
So finally! A list of things to be happy about today!
Take the past week of my life, for example. I'm both no longer being tortured and I get to hang out all day with my three best buddies! Everything works out well if you believe that it will! There's no point to wallowing in worst-case-scenarios. Don't see the glass as empty, see it as potentially fillable with water! Or delicious juice! Or whatever you please! There are lots of yummy drinks to enjoy in this world!
So it's been me and my girl Picasso and our color vision sweetheart Navi and my newest pal Slypher! You remember him, he's that one who was having the issue waaaaaay back in the beginning about not being able to properly enjoy his job of cutting people up and sewing them back together. Though Picasso says that it was just his own personal touch to sew his cuts back up and wasn't part of his job at all!
What a creative guy! No wonder he was such a valued employee by his boss and his friends!
Plus, it helped me totally not bleed out on the floor which would have wrecked an otherwise lovely hotel room and probably would have been quite the annoyance for the cleaning staff. He's just a big softy, that's what I say. A total sweetheart.
But I'm not one to suppose why others do things, so I decided to ask him myself why he has such a flair for stitches! Pulled him out from under the bed and gave him some water since a lot of times Picasso forgets to give him drinks if we leave her in charge of it. Such a silly one, that Picasso! Seems like she'd have a great memory, but every time we ask about Slypher it's like she's completely forgotten he was there! And she always talks about forgetting about him strangely loud while staring right at where he is under the bed. What a silly!
Anyway, I asked Slypher what his deal was with the stitches. And he said (and he got all pouty and red faced when he said it, the cutie) that he wasn't used to making incisions without closing them back up again. It was second nature to try and keep the blood inside the patient.
Can you believe that? My new friend Slypher is a doctor just like me! We have so much in common! We can talk about doctor stuff like needles and medicine and have a great bonding happy fun time! I'm excited. He insists that he 'isn't a doctor anymore, he gave up being a doctor when he stopped saving people', but that just sounds like defeatist talk to me.
I think he REALLY REALLY liked being a doctor! When he was telling me about how he used to be one he smiled! And, let us not forget that that was the original motive of everything! He seems to have given up on it, but I would never let him give up his dreams! I'm sure that if we talked to them his proxy friends would be happy to let him go back to being a doctor if we explain that torturing people isn't really up his alley.
I'll go talk to Picasso about it, she was out buying food when I talked with him about this, so she doesn't know the plan, but I think she'd be all in favor! Her and Slypher get along super duper well. They're always firing off quips at each other like an old married couple! ^_^ It's completely adorable.
So finally! A list of things to be happy about today!
- Slypher is finally opening up to me! That is the mark of a true friendship being born.
- We live in a society that has invented and endorses pillows!
- You are a unique individual with your own unique laugh (why not let someone hear it today?)
- Cuddles!
- There was an extra pretty sunset today!
- Carter is a super sweet guy, and we got to become friends with him through the magic of the internet!
- There is an endless number of people in the world to become friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.
Smile!
A-P-R-I-L-!
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Slicer is out of the Closet
For now. Picasso here by the way.
Here to reiterate a few things real quick. As Navi expressed for me at great length in her last post, I did not leave April unattended for any amount of time! That didn't happen. She may have sounded incredibly disingenuous by her word choice but I can assure you all right now... shes been dealt with.
As a complete aside I also did not tackle Navi to the ground and leave her covered in a fresh coat of bruises. That didn't happen... just putting that out there.
Shifting gracefully back over to the title topic, Slicer is out of the closet. After much badgering from April, who seems convinced we're the most qualified to help him as fellow proxies, we let him out of the closet to join us in a friendly little card game to see if he could behave himself. I don't trust the piece of shit though, so we left him tied up. I didn't like the way the asshole was looking at me and Navi was being super awkward around him so we blindfolded him too! He should be lucky he never got re-gagged with the way he kept running his fucking mouth.
Naturally I won our run of poker, because I'm awesome! Slicer seems to think I was cheating but you can't really cheat at cards. All luck and skill. And my greatest skill is my incredible luck! How do I know I'm so lucky? Because I was blessed with these incredible fucking skills! No arguing with that logic.
I was in good spirits when everything was done so I decided not to throw slicer back into the closet. I did shove his ass under the bed where I wouldn't have to look at this moping though.
"Told you this wouldn't work out," I told April. Clearly this was not helping Slicer with... whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be helping him with? Happiness I guess. Everything said and done, we'd just kind of succeeded at pissing him off.
"What are you taking about?" she laughed. "You guys are getting along fabulously. You're thick as thieves!"
"You're delusional!"
"I don't think I'm the delusional on here," she insisted.
"If you're not, then its because you're so delusional its enough for both of us!"
And we laughed.... pretty sure she is the delusional one. I mean, just today she also insisted she had a husband. When I asked her where he was she explained he was a Russian spy working as an ambassador to the united states and never visited because it'd blow his cover. Sound really fucking delusional to me!
But hey, if she wants me to quietly and politely torture Slicer with fixed games of cards, constant embarrassment and harassment, bondage, and my brilliant fucking witty banter so be it~!
I'll be happy to let the smug sack of shit have it.
Picasso out.
Here to reiterate a few things real quick. As Navi expressed for me at great length in her last post, I did not leave April unattended for any amount of time! That didn't happen. She may have sounded incredibly disingenuous by her word choice but I can assure you all right now... shes been dealt with.
As a complete aside I also did not tackle Navi to the ground and leave her covered in a fresh coat of bruises. That didn't happen... just putting that out there.
Shifting gracefully back over to the title topic, Slicer is out of the closet. After much badgering from April, who seems convinced we're the most qualified to help him as fellow proxies, we let him out of the closet to join us in a friendly little card game to see if he could behave himself. I don't trust the piece of shit though, so we left him tied up. I didn't like the way the asshole was looking at me and Navi was being super awkward around him so we blindfolded him too! He should be lucky he never got re-gagged with the way he kept running his fucking mouth.
Naturally I won our run of poker, because I'm awesome! Slicer seems to think I was cheating but you can't really cheat at cards. All luck and skill. And my greatest skill is my incredible luck! How do I know I'm so lucky? Because I was blessed with these incredible fucking skills! No arguing with that logic.
I was in good spirits when everything was done so I decided not to throw slicer back into the closet. I did shove his ass under the bed where I wouldn't have to look at this moping though.
"Told you this wouldn't work out," I told April. Clearly this was not helping Slicer with... whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be helping him with? Happiness I guess. Everything said and done, we'd just kind of succeeded at pissing him off.
"What are you taking about?" she laughed. "You guys are getting along fabulously. You're thick as thieves!"
"You're delusional!"
"I don't think I'm the delusional on here," she insisted.
"If you're not, then its because you're so delusional its enough for both of us!"
And we laughed.... pretty sure she is the delusional one. I mean, just today she also insisted she had a husband. When I asked her where he was she explained he was a Russian spy working as an ambassador to the united states and never visited because it'd blow his cover. Sound really fucking delusional to me!
But hey, if she wants me to quietly and politely torture Slicer with fixed games of cards, constant embarrassment and harassment, bondage, and my brilliant fucking witty banter so be it~!
I'll be happy to let the smug sack of shit have it.
Picasso out.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Never Not Slicer
Because his name wasn't Slypher.
Which makes sense in hindsight. What the fuck even is a Slypher? Sneaky fuzz?
... Where would it even try to sneak into?
Hmmm... I got it. It's a parasite. Hides on animals and pretends to be fur. Sly indeed.
Navi here, by the way.
I have quite a bit to report. All that fuzz was just the tip of the iceberg! Fuzzy ice!
First off!
We found April's tormentor. Or uh... well he found her. April and Picasso were reportedly out shopping for food when Slicer ran out of an alley and sucker punched Picasso and ran off with April. I have been assured several times that that is exactly how it happened. Picasso at no point left April unattended. She will not stop stressing that the me in texts... and notes... she wrote it in blood on my pillow for some reason. Very well drawn mind you. My cursive will never be that good...
After April was taken, Picasso called Aprils phone I guess. Apparently Slicer, again that's the proxy that's been trying to tormenting her, tried to pass off the situation as being her boyfriend.
Now personally, I would have been conflicted if I had been the one to have heard that. Because April says a lot of shit and maybe 10% of it is true and I'm never sure which 10% it is. I would not put it past her to decide her boyfriend was a proxy one day out of the blue. For all I know at this point, shes not even a real runner. We have not seen the Master once in all this time.
Furthermore, the boyfriend thing doesn't make one bit of fucking sense as to why he would sucker punch Picasso and steal April but whatever. Clearly that 'so totally happened'.
Hold on.... Mask face. Picasso's note here says it makes sense because she has pieces of mask seared to her face and looks scary. Why not. We're just gonna move on.
So after the call, Picasso came back to the room and used the computer to track the GPS on April's computer. We have it turned on for just such an occasion as this. April does, after all, have a nasty habit of trying to wander off without saying anything to either of us so this was kind of a no brainier.
And then from there me and her watched and waited until the cell stopped moving roughly 30 minutes later.
Picasso's plan was simple. 'Path' in and save April, I uh, was not on board. I don't care to go to that horrible baby infested landscape if I can help it. Picasso was quick to rip an entrance into existence for us and drag me through before I got the chance to book it out of there.
I could probably stand those trips if it wasn't for all the slimy little hands.... ew... feel like I might just vomit thinking about it.
I'm not exactly sure what happened when we arrived. I uh... may have flopped to the floor and assumed the fetal position. I can admit that because I'm not a petty mask faced child. When I had finally collected myself and pulled myself to my feet April was tied to a bed and some guy (Slicer) was on the floor with his hands tied behind his back with his nose magically squeezing itself down into an unnatural position.
I found out later that Picasso had broken Slicer's nose and was holding it for him after she knocked his ass over and tied him up.
I got up and let April free. She had several new cuts down her arms. Cuts that had already been sticked back closed because for whatever reason that's how Slicer tortures. He cuts you up and then he sews you back up. Never seen that before. Its weird.
She seemed so fucking happy to see us. Not because we had saved her, mind you. But because now would could finally meet Slicer and help him overcome his sadness. Because clearly that's why we're here.
We uh,... proceeded to immediately fail at doing that. Kind of glad we didn't try. Picasso's concept on happiness is very... carnal. I think that's the word. No, whatever it was she was doing instead of trying to do that, it was scaring the shit out of poor Slicer. He looked about ready to crap his pants.
I don't know what questions she asked but I know what the answers were.
(It's worth putting in a quick reminder here that I can't see or hear Picasso... important details.)
Slicer definitely does not operate alone. He admitted he was part of a cell and that his cell alone had as many as 15 people and that his boss, 'the Duke', has many cells in most of the neighboring cities. We probably could have taken a small little proxy cell on our own but not an entire little division of many cells. I was under the impression that independent cells like that (I hear we're calling those 'fallen' cells?) should be nowhere near that powerful so that was pretty concerning.
Rather than deal with that problem right now, since that's not what we're here for, Picasso apparently decided it would be best if we just fucking booked it as far away as we could in one night. Which made sense. 'The Dukes' influence couldn't possibly extend much further than a few cities.
So we gathered our things and took our car and drove all night. April spent a lot of that night pestering the shit out of Slicer trying to figure out what makes him happy. She actually managed to wear him down. The torturous little nerd likes rubix cubes. I'm told those are something like a puzzle box, only color based.
We probably should have just killed Slicer and been done with him... or since we're not allowed to kill just dumped him on Fracture/the Free Market to be hollowed and put in storage. But April has an awkward hard on for the guy. I don't know why but she really wants to make him be happy.
Picasso says we need to do whatever we can to help April so... I guess we're gonna try to help her. It all sounds kind of stupid to me though. I mean, I can see wanting to make your friends and family happy. But the guy who shows up out of the blue to kidnap and torture you? Fuck that guy. Seriously.
But what do I know right?
Navi out.
Which makes sense in hindsight. What the fuck even is a Slypher? Sneaky fuzz?
... Where would it even try to sneak into?
Hmmm... I got it. It's a parasite. Hides on animals and pretends to be fur. Sly indeed.
Navi here, by the way.
I have quite a bit to report. All that fuzz was just the tip of the iceberg! Fuzzy ice!
First off!
We found April's tormentor. Or uh... well he found her. April and Picasso were reportedly out shopping for food when Slicer ran out of an alley and sucker punched Picasso and ran off with April. I have been assured several times that that is exactly how it happened. Picasso at no point left April unattended. She will not stop stressing that the me in texts... and notes... she wrote it in blood on my pillow for some reason. Very well drawn mind you. My cursive will never be that good...
After April was taken, Picasso called Aprils phone I guess. Apparently Slicer, again that's the proxy that's been trying to tormenting her, tried to pass off the situation as being her boyfriend.
Now personally, I would have been conflicted if I had been the one to have heard that. Because April says a lot of shit and maybe 10% of it is true and I'm never sure which 10% it is. I would not put it past her to decide her boyfriend was a proxy one day out of the blue. For all I know at this point, shes not even a real runner. We have not seen the Master once in all this time.
Furthermore, the boyfriend thing doesn't make one bit of fucking sense as to why he would sucker punch Picasso and steal April but whatever. Clearly that 'so totally happened'.
Hold on.... Mask face. Picasso's note here says it makes sense because she has pieces of mask seared to her face and looks scary. Why not. We're just gonna move on.
So after the call, Picasso came back to the room and used the computer to track the GPS on April's computer. We have it turned on for just such an occasion as this. April does, after all, have a nasty habit of trying to wander off without saying anything to either of us so this was kind of a no brainier.
And then from there me and her watched and waited until the cell stopped moving roughly 30 minutes later.
Picasso's plan was simple. 'Path' in and save April, I uh, was not on board. I don't care to go to that horrible baby infested landscape if I can help it. Picasso was quick to rip an entrance into existence for us and drag me through before I got the chance to book it out of there.
I could probably stand those trips if it wasn't for all the slimy little hands.... ew... feel like I might just vomit thinking about it.
I'm not exactly sure what happened when we arrived. I uh... may have flopped to the floor and assumed the fetal position. I can admit that because I'm not a petty mask faced child. When I had finally collected myself and pulled myself to my feet April was tied to a bed and some guy (Slicer) was on the floor with his hands tied behind his back with his nose magically squeezing itself down into an unnatural position.
I found out later that Picasso had broken Slicer's nose and was holding it for him after she knocked his ass over and tied him up.
I got up and let April free. She had several new cuts down her arms. Cuts that had already been sticked back closed because for whatever reason that's how Slicer tortures. He cuts you up and then he sews you back up. Never seen that before. Its weird.
She seemed so fucking happy to see us. Not because we had saved her, mind you. But because now would could finally meet Slicer and help him overcome his sadness. Because clearly that's why we're here.
We uh,... proceeded to immediately fail at doing that. Kind of glad we didn't try. Picasso's concept on happiness is very... carnal. I think that's the word. No, whatever it was she was doing instead of trying to do that, it was scaring the shit out of poor Slicer. He looked about ready to crap his pants.
I don't know what questions she asked but I know what the answers were.
(It's worth putting in a quick reminder here that I can't see or hear Picasso... important details.)
Slicer definitely does not operate alone. He admitted he was part of a cell and that his cell alone had as many as 15 people and that his boss, 'the Duke', has many cells in most of the neighboring cities. We probably could have taken a small little proxy cell on our own but not an entire little division of many cells. I was under the impression that independent cells like that (I hear we're calling those 'fallen' cells?) should be nowhere near that powerful so that was pretty concerning.
Rather than deal with that problem right now, since that's not what we're here for, Picasso apparently decided it would be best if we just fucking booked it as far away as we could in one night. Which made sense. 'The Dukes' influence couldn't possibly extend much further than a few cities.
So we gathered our things and took our car and drove all night. April spent a lot of that night pestering the shit out of Slicer trying to figure out what makes him happy. She actually managed to wear him down. The torturous little nerd likes rubix cubes. I'm told those are something like a puzzle box, only color based.
We probably should have just killed Slicer and been done with him... or since we're not allowed to kill just dumped him on Fracture/the Free Market to be hollowed and put in storage. But April has an awkward hard on for the guy. I don't know why but she really wants to make him be happy.
Picasso says we need to do whatever we can to help April so... I guess we're gonna try to help her. It all sounds kind of stupid to me though. I mean, I can see wanting to make your friends and family happy. But the guy who shows up out of the blue to kidnap and torture you? Fuck that guy. Seriously.
But what do I know right?
Navi out.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile!
Or a dress made out of rainbows! Which is what I'm wearing now. Navi says I have to change clothes eventually, but I'm not sure I can stand to live NOT in this dress anymore!
IT'S SO COLORFUL!
Anyway, I had just a wonderful day yesterday! I had to share it with you.
I have a very busy lifestyle you know. I have to hold down my very important job, people are depending on me. Plus my surprise visits with Slypher which I don't get to plan and always tend to take forever! I tell you, torture is hell on the schedule! ^_^
Well, I haven't seen Slypher since the girls showed up, but the time I spent with him is spent hanging out with them now. The point is, I don't have much free time to myself, but I always find time to do something for the children. I love kids! I've never had any myself, but they're soooo cute!
So I always find the time to sing on street corners. All the happy classics! Never fully dressed without a smile, Spread a little sunshine, What a wonderful kind of day, that kind of thing! It's worth it to see those kids smile. Some even come back to see me again and again. I'm kinda like a local legend. The girl who sings outside the courthouse!
So I brought Piccolo with me this time, having brought Navi along when Piccolo was off shattering. But when we got there she made some kind of big fuss about it!
(Now guys, don't tell Picasso I said this but I think that she was just jealous of the kids that they got to hear me sing and tried to keep me for herself. Isn't that adorable of her? She's so cute!)
So I humored her. I could tell me singing only for her and Navi would really make her happy and I live to please! She gave some silly made up reason for it like the Motel 6 we were at being safer since Slypher didn't know I was there rather than being out in the open following my regular patterns.
Whatever you say, Picasso. *wink*
So on the way home we went shopping for singing costumes and Piccolo bought me the most beautiful rainbow colored dress! If you are reading this Monsieur Fracture, then I would like you to know that I rate your employees at full stars! Plus they're both lovely singers. We had a wonderful concert!
I even got flowers! It's nice to have fans! It was such a nice evening. Having friends around is the best.
Though in the whirl of it all I never got to explain to Picasso why it is I love my street concerts so much.
When I was a kid, my mom was a stay at home mom. She had a job, but it was on the computer. Something that had to do with being on the phone a lot. She would sing to herself as she worked. She had just an awful awful voice, but my sister and I loved to listen to her. One day, the three of us were home. I don't remember what I was doing, playing or something, but I remember hearing my mom singing in the other room. That was when we heard a strange noise from downstairs, our door bursting open and heavy footsteps. My mom gathered my sister and I together and we all huddled in a corner and she sang to us softly to keep us calm. When the burglar came to the room we saw he had a gun and he and my mother locked eyes and everything stopped for a second. Then my mom just continued singing.
And that burglar he dropped his gun fell to his knees and cried. I stood up, and my sister did too, and we joined in singing and he knew the words and he sang and took off his ski mask and smiled. Really really smiled. It was the most beautiful moment of his life, he said. It was the magic of music! The magic of singing and the magic of smiles.
And now, a list of things to be happy about today!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.
Smile!
Love,
A-P-R-I-L-!
IT'S SO COLORFUL!
Anyway, I had just a wonderful day yesterday! I had to share it with you.
I have a very busy lifestyle you know. I have to hold down my very important job, people are depending on me. Plus my surprise visits with Slypher which I don't get to plan and always tend to take forever! I tell you, torture is hell on the schedule! ^_^
Well, I haven't seen Slypher since the girls showed up, but the time I spent with him is spent hanging out with them now. The point is, I don't have much free time to myself, but I always find time to do something for the children. I love kids! I've never had any myself, but they're soooo cute!
So I always find the time to sing on street corners. All the happy classics! Never fully dressed without a smile, Spread a little sunshine, What a wonderful kind of day, that kind of thing! It's worth it to see those kids smile. Some even come back to see me again and again. I'm kinda like a local legend. The girl who sings outside the courthouse!
So I brought Piccolo with me this time, having brought Navi along when Piccolo was off shattering. But when we got there she made some kind of big fuss about it!
(Now guys, don't tell Picasso I said this but I think that she was just jealous of the kids that they got to hear me sing and tried to keep me for herself. Isn't that adorable of her? She's so cute!)
So I humored her. I could tell me singing only for her and Navi would really make her happy and I live to please! She gave some silly made up reason for it like the Motel 6 we were at being safer since Slypher didn't know I was there rather than being out in the open following my regular patterns.
Whatever you say, Picasso. *wink*
So on the way home we went shopping for singing costumes and Piccolo bought me the most beautiful rainbow colored dress! If you are reading this Monsieur Fracture, then I would like you to know that I rate your employees at full stars! Plus they're both lovely singers. We had a wonderful concert!
I even got flowers! It's nice to have fans! It was such a nice evening. Having friends around is the best.
Though in the whirl of it all I never got to explain to Picasso why it is I love my street concerts so much.
When I was a kid, my mom was a stay at home mom. She had a job, but it was on the computer. Something that had to do with being on the phone a lot. She would sing to herself as she worked. She had just an awful awful voice, but my sister and I loved to listen to her. One day, the three of us were home. I don't remember what I was doing, playing or something, but I remember hearing my mom singing in the other room. That was when we heard a strange noise from downstairs, our door bursting open and heavy footsteps. My mom gathered my sister and I together and we all huddled in a corner and she sang to us softly to keep us calm. When the burglar came to the room we saw he had a gun and he and my mother locked eyes and everything stopped for a second. Then my mom just continued singing.
And that burglar he dropped his gun fell to his knees and cried. I stood up, and my sister did too, and we joined in singing and he knew the words and he sang and took off his ski mask and smiled. Really really smiled. It was the most beautiful moment of his life, he said. It was the magic of music! The magic of singing and the magic of smiles.
And now, a list of things to be happy about today!
- Everyone has a song in their hearts!
- Our room number is 14 and that's my lucky number!
- Have you thought recently about sleep? It's magnificent! Continue to enjoy it!
- Planet of the Apes is an amazing movie!
- No matter how alone you feel, there is someone who believes you and believes in you!
- There are so many colors! And they can be made into dresses!
- There is a countless number of people in the world to make friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.
Smile!
Love,
A-P-R-I-L-!
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Showers to Flowers!
Hi!!!!!
Hm. That may not be enough exclamation
points. Lemme try again.
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do exclamation points make you feel all
shiny and happy inside? They do for me!
My name is April! I think Piccolo
already introduced me to you, but I figured I ought to do it myself!
I'm not really familiar with computers much but she showed me this
blog thing that apparently is really cool so I figured I would join
in! I'm not one to miss out on cool things. Plus the fact that she
asked me to make a post, so it would be silly of me to refuse such a
request!
Since this is an introduction post, I
figure that I should tell you all a little bit about me. I like the
color green and singing! I like smiling and mist and the game Sorry!
I like Disney movies! I like Navi and Piccolo too, they're both
really nice, coming to help me out just because I sent in an email.
Isn't that really kind of them?
We've been hanging out, it's great to
have some company. Especially the company of two such pretty young
girls. Did you know that Navi can't see Picasso? It leads to some
confusing situations. That's why it's so heartwarming that despite
all adversity they still are best friends. It's like a Hallmark
movie! Star crossed friends! I'm super happy to have gotten to meet
such interesting people. We played truth or dare! And watched a
movie! And hair braiding! It's basically the best sleepover ever,
every day.
Sometimes, people think I'm silly for
seeing only the happiest parts of life. I say it's scientifically
PROVEN to be awesome. You can trust me, I'm a doctor.
So in that vein I offer to anyone
reading this who might be sad, a list of things to be happy about
today!
- It's sunny!
- You can get pizza at any time of night!
- It was Christmas recently!
- It's almost a new year!
- Gummy bears are delicious!
- Navi and Picasso are great friends!
- Picasso got to see her love!
- Navi sings!
- Dancing exists!
- There are an infinite number of people in the world to make friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I
have yet to meet.
Smile!
Love,
A-P-R-I-L-!
Saturday, December 20, 2014
So... April
The shattering went well. Kind of. I don't want to get into it. It was Moth's special little event thing so I'll let him talk about it and throw in a link here when he can finally be fucking bothered to post. Be seeing as hes procrastinating like fucking crazy I'll share this to tie any curious souls over.
Moth's mask was shattered, the ritual was completed, hes allowed to talk now, and I'm gonna kill the fuck out of that snide asshole Maggot for trying to beat Moth to death with his Mask!
Satisfied?! Good.
Lets talk about work.
So we met April. That was weird. Shes really weird.
I sent Navi to the fire escape window for the apartment address April provided when she made her request for help. I stood outside the apartment room's door.
The plan was simple. Navi was gonna get 'April's' attention by knocking on the window and if things went south I was listening in from the door to kick it in and assist if it proved necessary. Navi had instructions to make lots of noise in case of such an emergency. We were ready to kill the shit out of any hostiles that came at us.
What we got instead was a smiling freak. April apparently let Navi in. And after some amount of muffled talking I could barely make, Navi let April know where I was so she could let me in. This pretty little Asian lady with the biggest stupidest fucking grin you could ever imagine in her late 20s.
She offered us sodas, and called us pretty, and started playing twenty questions with us. All huge red flags. April was being painfully too nice and too generous. Especially for a runner. It was suspicious as shit. Especially in light of her fancy fucking. So few runners get away with such grand accommodation and living conditions. It didn't seem like she needed any kind of protecting or even any kind of help. She even still had a job apparently. Shes a brain surgeon.
So I started driving the conversation back at her to try to figure out what her game was.
"So Father, er... the tall and Slender Man is hunting you right? Hes stalking you? You are a runner?"
"Of course silly!" she says smiling bright. "Its why I called. I am a runner."
"But you don't seem to be... in any short of need. Does he not bother you much?" I asked
"Sure he bothers me sometimes, but I don't let it bother me!" she declared. I could feel my face drop in disbelief. I wasn't sure if she was being serious or if her answer was being colored by her inhuman amounts of optimism.
That was when I got a text from Navi. Its been explained in a few places but I don't know if I've explained it here. Navi is very blindish. She sees the world save for whatever Father wants her to see as entirely black. And when she is allowed to see people, they have colors. Colors she knows to be representative of a person's emotions. This is all important to know because I got a text from Navi explaining that April here didn't have any emotions. Her big smile was a big fake. And that such a complete lack of emotional response to anything could be indicative or a deep internalized issue or that April is a psychopath.
Not one to beat around the bush I confronted her with it.
"You don't have emotions?" I asked bluntly.
"Of course I do. Can't you see how big my smile is?"
"You look happy but you aren't," I insisted. With that her smile looked a bit strained but she refused to let it drop.
"You're so silly," she giggled.
It was pretty apparent she wasn't going to accept what I was telling her. Possibly some self denial there. So I decided to push back to our last topic. I noticed she has cuts and busies on her arms.
"You said Father isn't really bothering you right? Where did those come from?" I asked pointing them out.
"Oh! This wasn't your Father. It was one of his other followers," she said smiling bright again... creepy.
"A proxy then?"
"Yes!" she giggled. "We've been spending a lot of quality time, and I thought talking to his family might help!"
"Does he... need help? You just said he was hurting you," I questioned.
"He's just lying to himself." April said shaking her head, "No matter what I did I couldn't get him to smile! I think he's hiding his feelings behind torture. I didn't know what to do, so I called you!"
My face dropped again. At least this wasn't a complete waste of time. She did actually need some protection. Granted she doesn't seem to actually want it...
"I just want you to try and help your brother figure out what he really wants to do with his life!" she said cheerily and optimistically.
"... Sure. Just as long as that means he stops torturing you... we can do that," I said with a frustrated huff. I have no idea what we're actually gonna do but at this point I get the sense its a waste of time to try to argue about it with.
April smiled, looking actually happy for the first time since I've seen her. "Thanks for caring so much, Picasso. You're super sweet."
He laughed and sighed a bit. "Yeah. Its whatever. I try to be I guess."
That's about when she let a bunch of other bomb shells drop. Like, this isn't her apartment. In fact I'm not even sure if she even knew the owner anymore. I know she somehow knew he was on a business trip of some sort, which was sketchy.
So we decided it would be best to just move her rather than risk her getting herself arrested staying in a stranger's house. So we looted the place and left. And now the three of us are sharing a single Motel room. So that's been awkward.
But besides that things have been normal. April, though wierd and creepy as shit, is nice and easy to get along with. Its just a matter of catching this proxy guy that's been bugging her now... which shouldn't be too hard I guess.
This job will be done in no time.
Picasso out.
Moth's mask was shattered, the ritual was completed, hes allowed to talk now, and I'm gonna kill the fuck out of that snide asshole Maggot for trying to beat Moth to death with his Mask!
Satisfied?! Good.
Lets talk about work.
So we met April. That was weird. Shes really weird.
I sent Navi to the fire escape window for the apartment address April provided when she made her request for help. I stood outside the apartment room's door.
The plan was simple. Navi was gonna get 'April's' attention by knocking on the window and if things went south I was listening in from the door to kick it in and assist if it proved necessary. Navi had instructions to make lots of noise in case of such an emergency. We were ready to kill the shit out of any hostiles that came at us.
What we got instead was a smiling freak. April apparently let Navi in. And after some amount of muffled talking I could barely make, Navi let April know where I was so she could let me in. This pretty little Asian lady with the biggest stupidest fucking grin you could ever imagine in her late 20s.
She offered us sodas, and called us pretty, and started playing twenty questions with us. All huge red flags. April was being painfully too nice and too generous. Especially for a runner. It was suspicious as shit. Especially in light of her fancy fucking. So few runners get away with such grand accommodation and living conditions. It didn't seem like she needed any kind of protecting or even any kind of help. She even still had a job apparently. Shes a brain surgeon.
So I started driving the conversation back at her to try to figure out what her game was.
"So Father, er... the tall and Slender Man is hunting you right? Hes stalking you? You are a runner?"
"Of course silly!" she says smiling bright. "Its why I called. I am a runner."
"But you don't seem to be... in any short of need. Does he not bother you much?" I asked
"Sure he bothers me sometimes, but I don't let it bother me!" she declared. I could feel my face drop in disbelief. I wasn't sure if she was being serious or if her answer was being colored by her inhuman amounts of optimism.
That was when I got a text from Navi. Its been explained in a few places but I don't know if I've explained it here. Navi is very blindish. She sees the world save for whatever Father wants her to see as entirely black. And when she is allowed to see people, they have colors. Colors she knows to be representative of a person's emotions. This is all important to know because I got a text from Navi explaining that April here didn't have any emotions. Her big smile was a big fake. And that such a complete lack of emotional response to anything could be indicative or a deep internalized issue or that April is a psychopath.
Not one to beat around the bush I confronted her with it.
"You don't have emotions?" I asked bluntly.
"Of course I do. Can't you see how big my smile is?"
"You look happy but you aren't," I insisted. With that her smile looked a bit strained but she refused to let it drop.
"You're so silly," she giggled.
It was pretty apparent she wasn't going to accept what I was telling her. Possibly some self denial there. So I decided to push back to our last topic. I noticed she has cuts and busies on her arms.
"You said Father isn't really bothering you right? Where did those come from?" I asked pointing them out.
"Oh! This wasn't your Father. It was one of his other followers," she said smiling bright again... creepy.
"A proxy then?"
"Yes!" she giggled. "We've been spending a lot of quality time, and I thought talking to his family might help!"
"Does he... need help? You just said he was hurting you," I questioned.
"He's just lying to himself." April said shaking her head, "No matter what I did I couldn't get him to smile! I think he's hiding his feelings behind torture. I didn't know what to do, so I called you!"
My face dropped again. At least this wasn't a complete waste of time. She did actually need some protection. Granted she doesn't seem to actually want it...
"I just want you to try and help your brother figure out what he really wants to do with his life!" she said cheerily and optimistically.
"... Sure. Just as long as that means he stops torturing you... we can do that," I said with a frustrated huff. I have no idea what we're actually gonna do but at this point I get the sense its a waste of time to try to argue about it with.
April smiled, looking actually happy for the first time since I've seen her. "Thanks for caring so much, Picasso. You're super sweet."
He laughed and sighed a bit. "Yeah. Its whatever. I try to be I guess."
That's about when she let a bunch of other bomb shells drop. Like, this isn't her apartment. In fact I'm not even sure if she even knew the owner anymore. I know she somehow knew he was on a business trip of some sort, which was sketchy.
So we decided it would be best to just move her rather than risk her getting herself arrested staying in a stranger's house. So we looted the place and left. And now the three of us are sharing a single Motel room. So that's been awkward.
But besides that things have been normal. April, though wierd and creepy as shit, is nice and easy to get along with. Its just a matter of catching this proxy guy that's been bugging her now... which shouldn't be too hard I guess.
This job will be done in no time.
Picasso out.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
An Awkward Break in Events
So. We met April. Shes nice. Suffice to say, shes not a psychotic runner looking to ambush Free Market Proxies... I was way fucking off on that... seems silly in hindsight. I guess I may have just been a little bit blood thirsty when I set out... just a little disappointed.
I'll get more into that later I guess.
What important is I met April. I'm probably gonna put up a post about her soon. Shes cool... kind of.
In the meantime, I wanted to put this up to let Moth and the other's know I'm on my way to his shattering. I wanted to put it here so I don't have to explain when I left April alone in Navi's care later in case something happens. I did it now. Like right fucking now. As soon as I finish writing this I'm gone.
So if you see this, see you soon Navi. See you soon too April. I won't be long. I probably explain this before I left. Everyone else attending and reading this for some weird and incredibly fucking rude reason, I'll be there in a minute!
Hold your fucking horses assholes!
PaKaSo out!
I'll get more into that later I guess.
What important is I met April. I'm probably gonna put up a post about her soon. Shes cool... kind of.
In the meantime, I wanted to put this up to let Moth and the other's know I'm on my way to his shattering. I wanted to put it here so I don't have to explain when I left April alone in Navi's care later in case something happens. I did it now. Like right fucking now. As soon as I finish writing this I'm gone.
So if you see this, see you soon Navi. See you soon too April. I won't be long. I probably explain this before I left. Everyone else attending and reading this for some weird and incredibly fucking rude reason, I'll be there in a minute!
Hold your fucking horses assholes!
PaKaSo out!
Friday, December 5, 2014
Bringing Down the Hammer
Laying down the law. Noise, but with authority! Hehe. God I miss Gavel... he had the best one liners. I don't miss Judge, Jury, or Executioner. Those guys were fucking assholes.
Guess I shouldn't have bothered saving his ass. He died just like them all the same...
Hi! I guess? Maybe less enthusiasm. Hi. So I got a big update for you assholes... who ever you are. Who reads this shit? Navi? Hi Navi. Lots of shit you already know for tonight's post. As I explained last post, I'm black mailing an old friend who refuses to talk to me like a spineless asshole in an effort to get orders so I can resume doing proxy work.
It is the family trade after all. For Navi too! She's apparently a third generation proxy. I had no idea any of us live long enough to have kids. Then again, I suppose there are still proxy bureaucrats hiding behind their fancy desks like Sloth and Devil. Get to work you lazy sacks of shit!
So I've been hard at work trying to get the right assignment. I want to restart proxy work on the right foot with a big fucking bang! And now I have just the job to do it. A lot of what my 'Old Friend' had to offer was observation work, supply runs, quick opportunistic hits against rival fear cult members, abductions, and other weak but necessary shit. And that's when we got the E-Mail.
A request for protection from a runner. The only information they provided as a single sentence asking for help against other proxies, their name (April), and their address.
No phone number, no blog account, no personal information, no description of their dire situation. Nothing! Very few runners turn to the Free Market for help despite our generous offer to help those being threatened by fear related entities that aren't Father. I personally blame the couriers for that. To much hope makes dying men prideful. And prideful souls would probably rather die.
Whatever the cause, requests like these are rare so when we get them in they are rarely so brief. Usually they have quite the sob story attached. Desperation does have a way of making people talkative after all. So this request is an oddities even among oddities.
Now, I bet by now you're asking yourself, 'Why the fuck is she explaining all this? Does any of this even fucking matter?'
The answer to that is 'Shut the fuck up before I rip off and sodomize you with your own fucking hand you stupid piece of shit. Then we'll see what matters won't we?!'
Dumbass. It's simple. The request is so short because its a fake request. Someone wants to lure proxies into a trap using the Free Market's selfless generosity as fucking bait! Shameless runners stabbing the hand that seeks to shield them! Un-Fucking-Forgivable! And prefect... for me. Hunting down some ultra aggressive runner shit stains is exactly the kind of bang I want to restart my proxy work to!
We'll cut down those sick sons of bitches... just like Moriarty's goons cut down Gavel for being sympathetic. Because somethings gonna change if I have to kill each and every last one of you to make it happen!
To Atlanta!
Pa Ka So Out!
Guess I shouldn't have bothered saving his ass. He died just like them all the same...
Hi! I guess? Maybe less enthusiasm. Hi. So I got a big update for you assholes... who ever you are. Who reads this shit? Navi? Hi Navi. Lots of shit you already know for tonight's post. As I explained last post, I'm black mailing an old friend who refuses to talk to me like a spineless asshole in an effort to get orders so I can resume doing proxy work.
It is the family trade after all. For Navi too! She's apparently a third generation proxy. I had no idea any of us live long enough to have kids. Then again, I suppose there are still proxy bureaucrats hiding behind their fancy desks like Sloth and Devil. Get to work you lazy sacks of shit!
So I've been hard at work trying to get the right assignment. I want to restart proxy work on the right foot with a big fucking bang! And now I have just the job to do it. A lot of what my 'Old Friend' had to offer was observation work, supply runs, quick opportunistic hits against rival fear cult members, abductions, and other weak but necessary shit. And that's when we got the E-Mail.
A request for protection from a runner. The only information they provided as a single sentence asking for help against other proxies, their name (April), and their address.
No phone number, no blog account, no personal information, no description of their dire situation. Nothing! Very few runners turn to the Free Market for help despite our generous offer to help those being threatened by fear related entities that aren't Father. I personally blame the couriers for that. To much hope makes dying men prideful. And prideful souls would probably rather die.
Whatever the cause, requests like these are rare so when we get them in they are rarely so brief. Usually they have quite the sob story attached. Desperation does have a way of making people talkative after all. So this request is an oddities even among oddities.
Now, I bet by now you're asking yourself, 'Why the fuck is she explaining all this? Does any of this even fucking matter?'
The answer to that is 'Shut the fuck up before I rip off and sodomize you with your own fucking hand you stupid piece of shit. Then we'll see what matters won't we?!'
Dumbass. It's simple. The request is so short because its a fake request. Someone wants to lure proxies into a trap using the Free Market's selfless generosity as fucking bait! Shameless runners stabbing the hand that seeks to shield them! Un-Fucking-Forgivable! And prefect... for me. Hunting down some ultra aggressive runner shit stains is exactly the kind of bang I want to restart my proxy work to!
We'll cut down those sick sons of bitches... just like Moriarty's goons cut down Gavel for being sympathetic. Because somethings gonna change if I have to kill each and every last one of you to make it happen!
To Atlanta!
Pa Ka So Out!
Friday, November 14, 2014
Night Breezes Seem
Well, I like being left in a box in the corner alone to die with my pet schizophrenic ginger toy thing as much as the next girl but you can only taunt Navi so long before it starts to loose it's charm and without Moth around to mix things up I feel like I could just die of boredom.
But then it occurred to me just how stupid that was. Why should I die of my boredom? Everyone else should die of my boredom. Its their fault for not entertaining me!
So using Navi as a human battering ram, if you can call her human, I broke out of my box and I broke out of the corner and then I broke the fuck out of my room for glorious freedom! Metaphorically speaking at least... wasn't actually locked up anywhere. Just really fucking bored.
I did actually use Navi as a battering ram to open my door though. That happened.
After that I went to visit an old friend. One of the ones I mentioned in the last post. You know, one of those assholes who refuse to spend any time with me or look me in the eye? Yeah, one of those fuckers. To protect the innocent, I will not use their name here. Although those of you who are clever will probably be able to figure it out. Infact, I'm not even gonna explain their half of the dialogue just to be safe. This will just be my half of the conversation!
Super secret keeper PaKaSo for the win!
So I approached my old friend the way I always do... or did, back in the day. With chloroform!
"Hey [Name]. Does this smell like chloroform to you?" I asked putting a rag to their face. They never got back to me on that one but my guess is no. Chloroform is odorless. So they passed out after a moment and I dragged them into their room. Navi stood their being confused, which is pretty typical of her. She followed the unconscious body as I dragged it into the room all the same. Great survival instincts. Definitely... could not go bad on her. I'd try to explain to her why some of the things she does is incredibly dumb but she can't see or hear me. And if she could, this wouldn't be an issue. Kind of a catch twenty two.
Anyways.
So I tied my old friend to a chair and took a seat of my own and waited for the fucker to wake up. I had also fashioned a brace to their neck and shoulders so they couldn't look away from me. I'm tired of these assholes avoiding eye contact. Your will look at me!
In fact, when they woke up I think I explained that in a monologue... that's a bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.
I won't bore you with an explanation of my explaining that to him in diologue quotes. That'd be silly. I already explained it or something... this explanation also seems redundant. God, I'm really ranty and shit. Bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.
So like I said, I explained the neck brace thing.
Then I got out of my chair and leaned over their face and started yelling.
"So what the fuck?!"
"Don't you what the fuck my what the fuck to me! You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND"
"Yeah? Then why the fuck have you been avoiding me? Huh. That sound friendly?" I bashed their head against their desk. "Should we make this kind of thing our standard?!"
They got all frantic and shit. Pure panic. I wasn't dealing with a friend anymore. I was dealing with an animal I had backed into a corner. A filthy animal that didn't want to talk to or deal with me. THAT COULDN'T FUCKING STAND TO LOOK AT ME.
"Fuck it." And I cut them free. The asshole toppled over it's desk to get away from me. Classy as shit.
"No! We're not done. I'm tired of sitting in this base doing nothing."
"Fuck that. I don't care what Fracture wants. If he cared, he'd be here. Hes as bad as you and he'll deserve his death when I get around to him."
I buried my sword into their desk. "Would you calm the fuck down?! I'm not here to kill you. But from now on, you're gonna be my handler. And you will give me real assignments. Not baby crap. Or my next visit be to kill you. You hear me?!"
"Good. I assume you already have my number?"
"Glad to see you haven't lost it," I said taking my sword and heading for the door. "Oh and we should get a drink some time and catch up. I've missed our little talks," I said with a bright grin, before slipping out the door pulling Navi out with me.
That fucker. Never called for us to go get a drink... but they did send me an assignment.
So... guess who's back in business? That's right, ME! PaKaSo. And guess what? Its time to mess up some faces. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
PaKaSo out.
Anyways.
So I tied my old friend to a chair and took a seat of my own and waited for the fucker to wake up. I had also fashioned a brace to their neck and shoulders so they couldn't look away from me. I'm tired of these assholes avoiding eye contact. Your will look at me!
In fact, when they woke up I think I explained that in a monologue... that's a bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.
I won't bore you with an explanation of my explaining that to him in diologue quotes. That'd be silly. I already explained it or something... this explanation also seems redundant. God, I'm really ranty and shit. Bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.
So like I said, I explained the neck brace thing.
Then I got out of my chair and leaned over their face and started yelling.
"So what the fuck?!"
"Don't you what the fuck my what the fuck to me! You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND"
"Yeah? Then why the fuck have you been avoiding me? Huh. That sound friendly?" I bashed their head against their desk. "Should we make this kind of thing our standard?!"
They got all frantic and shit. Pure panic. I wasn't dealing with a friend anymore. I was dealing with an animal I had backed into a corner. A filthy animal that didn't want to talk to or deal with me. THAT COULDN'T FUCKING STAND TO LOOK AT ME.
"Fuck it." And I cut them free. The asshole toppled over it's desk to get away from me. Classy as shit.
"No! We're not done. I'm tired of sitting in this base doing nothing."
"Fuck that. I don't care what Fracture wants. If he cared, he'd be here. Hes as bad as you and he'll deserve his death when I get around to him."
I buried my sword into their desk. "Would you calm the fuck down?! I'm not here to kill you. But from now on, you're gonna be my handler. And you will give me real assignments. Not baby crap. Or my next visit be to kill you. You hear me?!"
"Good. I assume you already have my number?"
"Glad to see you haven't lost it," I said taking my sword and heading for the door. "Oh and we should get a drink some time and catch up. I've missed our little talks," I said with a bright grin, before slipping out the door pulling Navi out with me.
That fucker. Never called for us to go get a drink... but they did send me an assignment.
So... guess who's back in business? That's right, ME! PaKaSo. And guess what? Its time to mess up some faces. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
PaKaSo out.
Monday, October 27, 2014
More of the Same
Hi. Or something. Do you ever get the feeling you're talking to no one? I get that feeling all the time.
I keep its because I do that so often....
Where did we leave off? Hmm... Right. Just finished explaining how that piece of shit Duckie killed my brother.
I can look back at that now and appreciate that I went a little off the deep end. Lke, I don't know, maybe a in out. A foot tops! I'm not crazy and I'll fucking kill you if you try to prove otherwise, I swear to fucking god I'll snap your lying jaws off and cram them into your brain through your fucking ears.
... So I snapped the tiniest littlest bit. I abandoned my squad, my brother's sword in hand, and I started trying to track Duckie down so I could kill the ugly son of a bitch. That didn't work out so much at first.
Tracking people is hard. I ended up have to go through an information broker. An information broker that,in hindsight, sounded, looked, acted, and had the same eye and hair color as our new glorious leader, the infamous Lord Betrayer, Sloth.
Retrospection tells me that the only reason I was able to get at him was because Fracture was sending Sloth to sell me information to get at Duckie. We'll get more into that later.
I fought Duckie a couple of times after that. At the same time, my old squad was hunting me. Some of them wanted to bring me back. Some of them thought I was a rabid dog that needed to be put down. I could see why they might have thought, hurtful though it was. I they backed off after one of them nearly got their head crushed by one of my fire extinguisher traps.
For all of my efforts at that time, I discovered I had quite a knack for improved traps. It amazes me what I can do with a saw, a hammer, and fish line. I'm like proxy MacGyver sometimes, to reference something fewer and fewer people would understand and that I myself have never seen. One day, a MacGyver will refer to a great improvised craftsman and no one will know where the fuck that name came from anymore.
Rant aside, for all my success against my former life-mates, I found little success against Duckie. I always refused to use traps against him. I didn't just want to kill him. I wanted to be better than him. I wanted to destroy him. So I met him in an honorable way where I announced myself and came at him with my brother's sword, which I still found unwieldy at the time.
Duckie wouldn't just beat me through, he would beat the shit out of me. Later on he'd take a knife to me when I couldn't stand and he'd mark me.
And when he decided I wasn't improving, and those were his words, 'I can see this isn't going anywhere, you're just not improving. You're a disgrace to your brother's memory. At this point I'm doing him a favor,' he ran me through with my own sword, Trent's sword, and then had me slowly slide off of it... off the roof. To fall to my death.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're gonna die. Others say you find a moment of clarity to reflect on your life and ask your higher power of choice for forgiveness if you should find yourself worthy of such grace.
Only one thing came to mind as wind rushed faster and faster around me as I plummeted toward the ground. And I spoke it out loud. So overpowering was the sensation that I had to make it audible.
"Fuck!"
I would have died there if Fracture hadn't teleported in and plucked me from the sky into the compound, or as we apparently call it today, the Free Market. As a quick aside, the Free Market is a terrible name for an organization. Like, the worst name imaginable. Of all time. -938573 out of 10.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with everyone that they let that travesty happen.
</rant>
I don't know how long I was out after that. When I woke up Fracture gave me a whole speech about how my brother use to work for him and how he wanted me to work for him and how he'd make sure Duckie got what he had coming to him if I did.
Apparently this kind of recruitment was pretty common at the time. I get the sense I was supposed to be a patsy. If you ask any one from the years 2002 to 2012 that signed up with Fracture in that time frame, they'll tell you Fracture faked their death and stole them from the Bureaucracy. Something they typically agreed. I've certainly not met anyone that claimed to have refused his offer...
So naturally, I agreed. In hindsight, Duckie did get what was coming to him in a big way. Even if I couldn't appreciate it at the time... apparently. I've read I didn't but I was apparently a crazy bitch for the last 3 years or so, so who knows what I was thinking during that time frame.
I spent a lot of time locked in the compound. Fracture and Lord Fire refused to let me leave until I had actually learned to wield a sword. And after a good year of practiced dedicated training, I had. I even made friends like Ivan, Whisper, and Gravel Father rest his troubled soul. Occasionally I even found love, not that I'm willing to name any names here on that topic. And I got my self a pet Mask, useless though Moth usually is hes reliable.
Everything was... good, for a little while. And then Fracture took me out on a trip into the Path... and I whited out under... I remember screaming. It wasn't mine, but there was constant near endless screaming everywhere...
Huh. My bad eye started bleeding. Weird...
Back to the story, as I need to wrap it up before this post gets any longer. Like I said, I whited out. I woke up a few weeks ago with no memory of what happened for the last 3 years. Ivan refuses to see, talk to me, or ever talk over the phone. He seems terrified of me. Fracture and Whispers won't look me in the eye. Pained looks of shame and guilt take them and they make an effort to make our encounters brief. Gravel's long dead, he was apparently shot down by a group of fellow runners working under someone called 'Moriarty' for the grave unforgivable crime of sympathizing with proxies. Glad to see the runner ranks are still flush with filth.
Just me and Moth... and my new pet Navi.
I keep trying to explain to my old friends that that wasn't me... that I'm me again and things are different now but...
It just feels like I'm talking to no one... because they aren't listening.
PaKaSo out.
I keep its because I do that so often....
Where did we leave off? Hmm... Right. Just finished explaining how that piece of shit Duckie killed my brother.
I can look back at that now and appreciate that I went a little off the deep end. Lke, I don't know, maybe a in out. A foot tops! I'm not crazy and I'll fucking kill you if you try to prove otherwise, I swear to fucking god I'll snap your lying jaws off and cram them into your brain through your fucking ears.
... So I snapped the tiniest littlest bit. I abandoned my squad, my brother's sword in hand, and I started trying to track Duckie down so I could kill the ugly son of a bitch. That didn't work out so much at first.
Tracking people is hard. I ended up have to go through an information broker. An information broker that,in hindsight, sounded, looked, acted, and had the same eye and hair color as our new glorious leader, the infamous Lord Betrayer, Sloth.
Retrospection tells me that the only reason I was able to get at him was because Fracture was sending Sloth to sell me information to get at Duckie. We'll get more into that later.
I fought Duckie a couple of times after that. At the same time, my old squad was hunting me. Some of them wanted to bring me back. Some of them thought I was a rabid dog that needed to be put down. I could see why they might have thought, hurtful though it was. I they backed off after one of them nearly got their head crushed by one of my fire extinguisher traps.
For all of my efforts at that time, I discovered I had quite a knack for improved traps. It amazes me what I can do with a saw, a hammer, and fish line. I'm like proxy MacGyver sometimes, to reference something fewer and fewer people would understand and that I myself have never seen. One day, a MacGyver will refer to a great improvised craftsman and no one will know where the fuck that name came from anymore.
Rant aside, for all my success against my former life-mates, I found little success against Duckie. I always refused to use traps against him. I didn't just want to kill him. I wanted to be better than him. I wanted to destroy him. So I met him in an honorable way where I announced myself and came at him with my brother's sword, which I still found unwieldy at the time.
Duckie wouldn't just beat me through, he would beat the shit out of me. Later on he'd take a knife to me when I couldn't stand and he'd mark me.
And when he decided I wasn't improving, and those were his words, 'I can see this isn't going anywhere, you're just not improving. You're a disgrace to your brother's memory. At this point I'm doing him a favor,' he ran me through with my own sword, Trent's sword, and then had me slowly slide off of it... off the roof. To fall to my death.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're gonna die. Others say you find a moment of clarity to reflect on your life and ask your higher power of choice for forgiveness if you should find yourself worthy of such grace.
Only one thing came to mind as wind rushed faster and faster around me as I plummeted toward the ground. And I spoke it out loud. So overpowering was the sensation that I had to make it audible.
"Fuck!"
I would have died there if Fracture hadn't teleported in and plucked me from the sky into the compound, or as we apparently call it today, the Free Market. As a quick aside, the Free Market is a terrible name for an organization. Like, the worst name imaginable. Of all time. -938573 out of 10.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with everyone that they let that travesty happen.
</rant>
I don't know how long I was out after that. When I woke up Fracture gave me a whole speech about how my brother use to work for him and how he wanted me to work for him and how he'd make sure Duckie got what he had coming to him if I did.
Apparently this kind of recruitment was pretty common at the time. I get the sense I was supposed to be a patsy. If you ask any one from the years 2002 to 2012 that signed up with Fracture in that time frame, they'll tell you Fracture faked their death and stole them from the Bureaucracy. Something they typically agreed. I've certainly not met anyone that claimed to have refused his offer...
So naturally, I agreed. In hindsight, Duckie did get what was coming to him in a big way. Even if I couldn't appreciate it at the time... apparently. I've read I didn't but I was apparently a crazy bitch for the last 3 years or so, so who knows what I was thinking during that time frame.
I spent a lot of time locked in the compound. Fracture and Lord Fire refused to let me leave until I had actually learned to wield a sword. And after a good year of practiced dedicated training, I had. I even made friends like Ivan, Whisper, and Gravel Father rest his troubled soul. Occasionally I even found love, not that I'm willing to name any names here on that topic. And I got my self a pet Mask, useless though Moth usually is hes reliable.
Everything was... good, for a little while. And then Fracture took me out on a trip into the Path... and I whited out under... I remember screaming. It wasn't mine, but there was constant near endless screaming everywhere...
Huh. My bad eye started bleeding. Weird...
Back to the story, as I need to wrap it up before this post gets any longer. Like I said, I whited out. I woke up a few weeks ago with no memory of what happened for the last 3 years. Ivan refuses to see, talk to me, or ever talk over the phone. He seems terrified of me. Fracture and Whispers won't look me in the eye. Pained looks of shame and guilt take them and they make an effort to make our encounters brief. Gravel's long dead, he was apparently shot down by a group of fellow runners working under someone called 'Moriarty' for the grave unforgivable crime of sympathizing with proxies. Glad to see the runner ranks are still flush with filth.
Just me and Moth... and my new pet Navi.
I keep trying to explain to my old friends that that wasn't me... that I'm me again and things are different now but...
It just feels like I'm talking to no one... because they aren't listening.
PaKaSo out.
Friday, October 3, 2014
That's Not My Name
You know that feeling? That one you get when you've been asleep for over three years and wake up with no memory of the time you've lost and learn that you spent those three years acting like a raving, psychotic lunatic, attacking your loved ones, and misspelling your own fucking name wrong?
Yeah, that feeling. We've all been there and that's where I am now.
My name is Patrica Kalso. My code name is Pa-Ka-So. Not Picasso. I'm not the worst fucking well known painter of all time. I'm PaKaSo.
Forgive me if this post has some overlap with Moth's Post.
I don't know that it will and I can't assume you've read his post. I'm just gonna talk about myself this post and we'll see where things go from there.
So like I said, I was born Patrica Kalso. I was raised in Philadelphia for what I can only remember to be a small chunk of my childhood. A part of a region Fracture and other's have often liked to refer to as 'Slender Country'. Apparently that encompasses a thick line from Philadelphia to New York. West Pennsylvania and New York's tail. And who knows, maybe that stretches up into Canada. Hard to say. Never been. Border crossing is such a pain in the ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened when I was little. But it was something bad. I remember I had parents. I certainly don't now though. My brother looked after me after... whatever happened... happened. He took me everywhere. We lived on the streets for a week or so when a man in a fancy looking business suit invited us to join a special home for kids like us. He was apparently 'A friend of Father's'. Or so Trent (my brother) said. I didn't question it. I was happy to live indoors again.
He took us to a small town south of Philly. There we shared a large studio apparent with 6 other kids. It was a scary time for me. Everyone was masked and armed and to my horror my brother would soon be too. I got a mask but not a knife or a gun like everyone else.
Our roommates liked to call me useless. I blame my brother for that. He insisted on dragging me along for missions. Didn't like to leave me alone. Apparently taking an 5 year old to participate in hunting people to death and vandalizing was better.
So my brother fixed it, like he always fixed everything for me. He gave me a title and a job in our little cult. I got to draw Father's symbols in blood since he wouldn't let me cut or break things.
As the little girl painting abstract geometric symbols in blood, and I was named after the worst painter ever. Picasso. But spelled with letters of my name so I could be unique.
That lasted for a year. I was barely getting settled when my brother turned 8. A much more homeless looking man than the man that brought us here came and took four of us away to 'study'.
Left me and the others to cover the work load ourselves. The remaining four of us got by... but I had never felt more useless. I tried to help hunt but I... I was too weak. I couldn't stomach it.
That's when my job as designated painter started to play second to house chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry. We were all more or less kids but someone had to do these things and if I couldn't pull my weight they decided it would be me. I still have burns on my hands from the time I spend teaching myself to cook. Laundry wasn't hard though. I don't know why people bitch about laundry. The machines do all the work.
Trent didn't come back to me for two years... I thought he was dead. I really did. He was lucky I was still there... I wanted to run away so many times. I had grown a lot. I was learning to kill. I was breaking shit with the best of them.
When Trench came back he saw to it I was taken care of again. No more chores. Nothing to worry my pretty little head about again but painting symbols. Like he had never left. Excepted he came back a badass, I guess.
Many protested when he declared I wasn't doing everyone's chores anymore. He beat the shit out of the biggest one... I want to say Bret, or Braker as he liked to call himself.
Not much changed for the next four years. Trent tried to teach me to fight and use his new sword but he liked to baby me. Our lesions were such a slow processes... can't say I really leaned much. Even today, most of my ability to use a sword was self taught.
That's when we first met Duckie. Our gang and his gang where being paired together to hunt down a group of runners. At the time it was a big deal. You didn't see runners group up.
The operation went miserably. Duckie held his own. Duckie, Trent, Bret, and I survived. The rest of our gangs did not. Knife and sword wielding children did not hold up to a teenager with an oozie.
As an adult, I guess it makes sense. I don't know how they got the oozie but they were just defending themselves. We were there to kill them. But none of us had seen anything like that before.
I remember asking my brother 'Why did they do that to us?' Like it was their fault. As if they shouldn't be protecting themselves.
He never did give me an answer. Although he did skin the one with the oozie alive with Duckie in the next room...
I remember crushing on Duckie, even after he showed me his fucked up face. He was cool. Confident and relaxed in a way my brother never was. I was sad when he didn't stay with us. We got sorted into a new little gang. We were calling ourselves squads by then. It sounded more legal.
Much against my brothers protests, I started training in earnest after that. There were people out there in the world that meant to do us harm... I didn't want to be burden anymore. I wanted to be strong like Duckie and Trent. Trent's sword was still too heavy for me to learn to wield properly though. Even if it wasn't, we had no way of getting a new sword just for me. So he bought me little wood cutting hatchets. Truly terrible fucking weapons. One good chop and if you didn't cleave right though, and you never do, you had to pull them back out. I guess that's why you get two and have a squad.
That's not to say I can't rip in and out of flesh with a hatchet now. I'm a grown women now. But it was harder then. I had little child arms. It sucked pretty hard.
Two more years passed. I was 14. Trent was 16, like Duckie as it turned out.
We got sent in to break up another group of runners. But this time, there was just the four of us.
Not content with our odds after last time, Trent called in another veteran for this kind of mission. My mute crush, Duckie. I remember being so excited to see him again. I wanted to show him everything I learned. After the mission of course.
That's when everything went fucked on a fucked train in a fucked hand basket.
We cornered the group of runners. Five of them. Duckie and Trent were making short work of them at first. They would stab and throw them to us. We would make sure they were very dead. But the last one was a dodgy motherfucker. Duckie went for the throat but he missed. Trent was behind the runner and was trying to grab him and didn't see what happened next coming. With one good swipe of Duckie's long curved knife, Trent's throat was ripped wide open.
The blood spray was... unreal.
I remember screaming. Apparently the runner got away. I clenched my brother... demanded and begged for him not to leave me... he never got back to me on that. Too busy bleeding out. I could have blamed the runner... maybe I should have.
But the runner wasn't the one with the knife. The runner hadn't so much as thrown a punch. Duckie had did it. And I... sort of freaked. I came at Duckie with my hatchet's but he knocked me out with a good punch to the face.
When I came to, they had disposed of Trent's body... Duckie was gone... all I had left of my dear murdered brother was his sword. Much to the protests of my fellow squadmates, I swore on that sword that I would use it gut Duckie for what he had taken from me.
And just like my brother has promised to look after me, just like he had promised to come back before he disappeared for two years, and just as he had promised I could have his sword when I was old enough and he was done with it, I intended to keep my promise to destroy Duckie.
... And now as an adult... I've woken up to find that I have.
But this stories getting a little long. I think I'm gonna stop here. I'll finish it next post or something.
PaKaSo out.
Yeah, that feeling. We've all been there and that's where I am now.
My name is Patrica Kalso. My code name is Pa-Ka-So. Not Picasso. I'm not the worst fucking well known painter of all time. I'm PaKaSo.
Forgive me if this post has some overlap with Moth's Post.
I don't know that it will and I can't assume you've read his post. I'm just gonna talk about myself this post and we'll see where things go from there.
So like I said, I was born Patrica Kalso. I was raised in Philadelphia for what I can only remember to be a small chunk of my childhood. A part of a region Fracture and other's have often liked to refer to as 'Slender Country'. Apparently that encompasses a thick line from Philadelphia to New York. West Pennsylvania and New York's tail. And who knows, maybe that stretches up into Canada. Hard to say. Never been. Border crossing is such a pain in the ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened when I was little. But it was something bad. I remember I had parents. I certainly don't now though. My brother looked after me after... whatever happened... happened. He took me everywhere. We lived on the streets for a week or so when a man in a fancy looking business suit invited us to join a special home for kids like us. He was apparently 'A friend of Father's'. Or so Trent (my brother) said. I didn't question it. I was happy to live indoors again.
He took us to a small town south of Philly. There we shared a large studio apparent with 6 other kids. It was a scary time for me. Everyone was masked and armed and to my horror my brother would soon be too. I got a mask but not a knife or a gun like everyone else.
Our roommates liked to call me useless. I blame my brother for that. He insisted on dragging me along for missions. Didn't like to leave me alone. Apparently taking an 5 year old to participate in hunting people to death and vandalizing was better.
So my brother fixed it, like he always fixed everything for me. He gave me a title and a job in our little cult. I got to draw Father's symbols in blood since he wouldn't let me cut or break things.
As the little girl painting abstract geometric symbols in blood, and I was named after the worst painter ever. Picasso. But spelled with letters of my name so I could be unique.
That lasted for a year. I was barely getting settled when my brother turned 8. A much more homeless looking man than the man that brought us here came and took four of us away to 'study'.
Left me and the others to cover the work load ourselves. The remaining four of us got by... but I had never felt more useless. I tried to help hunt but I... I was too weak. I couldn't stomach it.
That's when my job as designated painter started to play second to house chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry. We were all more or less kids but someone had to do these things and if I couldn't pull my weight they decided it would be me. I still have burns on my hands from the time I spend teaching myself to cook. Laundry wasn't hard though. I don't know why people bitch about laundry. The machines do all the work.
Trent didn't come back to me for two years... I thought he was dead. I really did. He was lucky I was still there... I wanted to run away so many times. I had grown a lot. I was learning to kill. I was breaking shit with the best of them.
When Trench came back he saw to it I was taken care of again. No more chores. Nothing to worry my pretty little head about again but painting symbols. Like he had never left. Excepted he came back a badass, I guess.
Many protested when he declared I wasn't doing everyone's chores anymore. He beat the shit out of the biggest one... I want to say Bret, or Braker as he liked to call himself.
Not much changed for the next four years. Trent tried to teach me to fight and use his new sword but he liked to baby me. Our lesions were such a slow processes... can't say I really leaned much. Even today, most of my ability to use a sword was self taught.
That's when we first met Duckie. Our gang and his gang where being paired together to hunt down a group of runners. At the time it was a big deal. You didn't see runners group up.
The operation went miserably. Duckie held his own. Duckie, Trent, Bret, and I survived. The rest of our gangs did not. Knife and sword wielding children did not hold up to a teenager with an oozie.
As an adult, I guess it makes sense. I don't know how they got the oozie but they were just defending themselves. We were there to kill them. But none of us had seen anything like that before.
I remember asking my brother 'Why did they do that to us?' Like it was their fault. As if they shouldn't be protecting themselves.
He never did give me an answer. Although he did skin the one with the oozie alive with Duckie in the next room...
I remember crushing on Duckie, even after he showed me his fucked up face. He was cool. Confident and relaxed in a way my brother never was. I was sad when he didn't stay with us. We got sorted into a new little gang. We were calling ourselves squads by then. It sounded more legal.
Much against my brothers protests, I started training in earnest after that. There were people out there in the world that meant to do us harm... I didn't want to be burden anymore. I wanted to be strong like Duckie and Trent. Trent's sword was still too heavy for me to learn to wield properly though. Even if it wasn't, we had no way of getting a new sword just for me. So he bought me little wood cutting hatchets. Truly terrible fucking weapons. One good chop and if you didn't cleave right though, and you never do, you had to pull them back out. I guess that's why you get two and have a squad.
That's not to say I can't rip in and out of flesh with a hatchet now. I'm a grown women now. But it was harder then. I had little child arms. It sucked pretty hard.
Two more years passed. I was 14. Trent was 16, like Duckie as it turned out.
We got sent in to break up another group of runners. But this time, there was just the four of us.
Not content with our odds after last time, Trent called in another veteran for this kind of mission. My mute crush, Duckie. I remember being so excited to see him again. I wanted to show him everything I learned. After the mission of course.
That's when everything went fucked on a fucked train in a fucked hand basket.
We cornered the group of runners. Five of them. Duckie and Trent were making short work of them at first. They would stab and throw them to us. We would make sure they were very dead. But the last one was a dodgy motherfucker. Duckie went for the throat but he missed. Trent was behind the runner and was trying to grab him and didn't see what happened next coming. With one good swipe of Duckie's long curved knife, Trent's throat was ripped wide open.
The blood spray was... unreal.
I remember screaming. Apparently the runner got away. I clenched my brother... demanded and begged for him not to leave me... he never got back to me on that. Too busy bleeding out. I could have blamed the runner... maybe I should have.
But the runner wasn't the one with the knife. The runner hadn't so much as thrown a punch. Duckie had did it. And I... sort of freaked. I came at Duckie with my hatchet's but he knocked me out with a good punch to the face.
When I came to, they had disposed of Trent's body... Duckie was gone... all I had left of my dear murdered brother was his sword. Much to the protests of my fellow squadmates, I swore on that sword that I would use it gut Duckie for what he had taken from me.
And just like my brother has promised to look after me, just like he had promised to come back before he disappeared for two years, and just as he had promised I could have his sword when I was old enough and he was done with it, I intended to keep my promise to destroy Duckie.
... And now as an adult... I've woken up to find that I have.
But this stories getting a little long. I think I'm gonna stop here. I'll finish it next post or something.
PaKaSo out.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
So... this is it...
We're really gonna do it... gonna put an end to all this. Maybe... Just maybe if we kill Duckie and Fracture, we'll get Picasso back. And I don't mean flipping her back from being a raving voilent lunitic to a screaming lunatic constantly threatening violence. I think I may very well be getting back the real Picasso...
Just one more fight... one more.
We're heading there right now. It's turned out to be quite a drive. See, Fracture challenged us to settle things where he originally saved Picasso after Duckie threw her ass off a roof. Unfortunately, the only one who knows for 100% sure where that happened is Picasso and... well we still aren't letting her ass out of the trunk. She might very well rip our throats out if we did. I mean, I've been feeding her... but that more or less just entails me throwing food and water in there three times a day... a little scared of what she might look like at this point.
We have, naturally, accepted Fracture's challenge. That probably goes without saying this far into the post but this give me a flimsy pretense to just... link Nat accepting the challenge on her blog... lessens the amount of explaining I have to do
I... I was nervous about this fight before... but after this... After Picasso went toe to toe with a fear and won... after her show of force granting us insight into just how interconnected her and Father have become in their crusade against Fracture and Duckie... I'm not scared that we won't win this. I know we will win this.
... I'm just scared it won't fix her... is it even possible to repair that much damage? ... To separate a god from the vessel it's jammed an entire finger into?
And if they do part afterwards... will there even be anything left inside Picasso? Or will she just be a shell at that point?
Just... another blessed little hollow lost in the world she can no longer understand or appreciate?
I guess its wrong to say that I'm afraid I'm gonna lose her... at this point I'd have to say I'm scared that we already have.
If shes really gone... I think I'm gonna abandon this blog. It always was more of her baby than it was mine. Her little ranting wall to scream into the internet about how much she hates Fracture and Duckie...
If I survive I'll probably throw up one last post letting every one else know what happened... if not I'm sure at least one of the others will make it... I'm sure they'll put up or at least link a final post explaining what happened from this blog to wherever they posted it themselves.
Best case scenario, a fixed Picasso will be alive and around to detail what went down... assuming she could even remember.
But this is either my last or second to last post here. Survive or not... if I find the urge to write after that I'll just start my own little blog.
What would I even name it...?
Does anyone even care? Probably not. Curse of the mute. Why would you care about one? Hehe, we don't have souls after all.
Until next time, maybe,
Moth Out.
Just one more fight... one more.
We're heading there right now. It's turned out to be quite a drive. See, Fracture challenged us to settle things where he originally saved Picasso after Duckie threw her ass off a roof. Unfortunately, the only one who knows for 100% sure where that happened is Picasso and... well we still aren't letting her ass out of the trunk. She might very well rip our throats out if we did. I mean, I've been feeding her... but that more or less just entails me throwing food and water in there three times a day... a little scared of what she might look like at this point.
We have, naturally, accepted Fracture's challenge. That probably goes without saying this far into the post but this give me a flimsy pretense to just... link Nat accepting the challenge on her blog... lessens the amount of explaining I have to do
I... I was nervous about this fight before... but after this... After Picasso went toe to toe with a fear and won... after her show of force granting us insight into just how interconnected her and Father have become in their crusade against Fracture and Duckie... I'm not scared that we won't win this. I know we will win this.
... I'm just scared it won't fix her... is it even possible to repair that much damage? ... To separate a god from the vessel it's jammed an entire finger into?
And if they do part afterwards... will there even be anything left inside Picasso? Or will she just be a shell at that point?
Just... another blessed little hollow lost in the world she can no longer understand or appreciate?
I guess its wrong to say that I'm afraid I'm gonna lose her... at this point I'd have to say I'm scared that we already have.
If shes really gone... I think I'm gonna abandon this blog. It always was more of her baby than it was mine. Her little ranting wall to scream into the internet about how much she hates Fracture and Duckie...
If I survive I'll probably throw up one last post letting every one else know what happened... if not I'm sure at least one of the others will make it... I'm sure they'll put up or at least link a final post explaining what happened from this blog to wherever they posted it themselves.
Best case scenario, a fixed Picasso will be alive and around to detail what went down... assuming she could even remember.
But this is either my last or second to last post here. Survive or not... if I find the urge to write after that I'll just start my own little blog.
What would I even name it...?
Does anyone even care? Probably not. Curse of the mute. Why would you care about one? Hehe, we don't have souls after all.
Until next time, maybe,
Moth Out.
Friday, July 25, 2014
I... We. We Saw it coming.
Me and Fracture...
But I was hoping he was wrong.
Hmmmmpph. This blog doesn't really get enough love.
Where to start?
We've been spending a lot of time with Nat and her troop of goons including an old friend and flame of mine, Vallus, and my favorite brand of traitorous untrustible swine, Mr. Sloth.
Vallus is talking now, which makes her a wordy vow breaking convictionless... thing. Disgusting really. And as I understand it from what Sloth was telling me she didn't take the Rite of Shattering before she decided to start talking again which... whats a nice to put this? Its... truly... despicable? Yeah. We'll go with that.
If I didn't consider her a friend, I'd have broken that mask of hers against her face myself. I fear I'm growing soft.
Maggot, I don't know if you read this but heres fair warning. If I catch you wandering around without your mask or talking I won't just brake your mask against your face, I'll force feed you the broken pieces down your fucking throat. Stand by your oath or take the Rite.
Moving along.
Nat's an angry bitch but shes got a hell of any arm. Shes quick and she hits hard. And she can take a hit. We've sparred for hours. If I'm being perfectly honest... I'm more than a little interested. Expressing that interest, however, earned me a punch in the throat and in... well, other places. We'll leave it at that.
Suffice to say she isn't interested. And I can't say I blame her. I'm sure being masked, mute, or zealously worshiping an entity she has no respect for could be forgiven if I was doing just one of those things. But I do all of those things... Nature of the oath.
She seems real close to Sloth now which I'm convinced is a huge mistake. I've seen the guy set fire to a building with a squad of proxies inside to slow down the Archangel when it retaliated for the group of timberwolves we had just killed.
Not that the fire slowed down the Archangel, mind you. It trapped the rest of the team inside and Archangel went for the easier kill while we, as per Sloth's instructions, left. I would not be relying on him as I have been if he wasn't bank rolling our little coup against Fracture and even with that I still don't like to be around the fucker.
He was taken out of real management and sent on suicide missions for a reason. The man is a Menace. He keeps telling me things are different now but I don't buy that shit for a second and I'm more then a little afraid Nat's gonna find out what he really is the hard way. But hey, shes a big girl. And if nothing else, I'm confident when he does show his true colors she'll be more than capable of surviving it. Assuming he doesn't like... just shoot her in the back of the head or something.
And that brings us to Helrick and Picasso... current events.
So, after Helrick broke Picasso out of Fracture's little prison in the Compound he realized she was more unstable and unruly than he was able to handle. After much effort on both parties sides, he finally made contact with us and we Met Up.
But even with tranquilizers and all five of us taking turns watching and caring for her, she proved to be too much for all of us to handle. Her erratic behavior was driving us all to the point of insanity when Navi came up with a Plan, which she saw fit to put up on Nat's blog instead of ours.
That plan was to give Picasso what she was screaming for, Helrick. So we threw the lamb the slaughter and miraculously he wasn't immediately ripped to shreds. In fact, Picasso finally calmed down and stopped screaming every five fucking minutes.
I was so relieved to finally have some peace I convinced myself that maybe things could work out for them. If nothing else, maybe Helrick could stay just close enough to keep Picasso stable.
...
I like to think she, the real her, is still in there somewhere but on some cognitive level I know better...
It was my turn to stand watch for Helrick. He didn't feel safe in her arms when we first handed him off to her so we established a watch to keep an eye on the two of them in case something happened and Picasso suddenly went ape shit on him.
I will say it again, he didn't feel comfortable when he was first handed over to her. After about a day, the watch went from being something of a serious concern to mandatory sessions of watching a couple being way to affectionate for company.
Nat straight up refused to do it anymore and I don't know that I can blame her for that. It stopped being Picasso forcing herself on Helrick and slowly turned into constant face sucking and ass grabbing.
We started footing the bill for hotels so we could keep their asses on the roof where the rest of us wouldn't have to see them until our shift came up. Even then, I started sitting inside just on the other side of the roof's door so I'd only have to listen to them which was bad enough on its own.
"I love you" said Picasso in a happy loving tone.
"I... I love you too," said Helrick after taking a moment to decide how he wanted to answer that. It sounded less than convincing.
"We're gonna gut Fuck Face together. We'll rip him, and whisper, and DUCKIE apart!"
"Haha. That's right. Those assholes don't stand a chance."
"And then once they're good and DEAD... you're gonna stay with ME and help me dismantle ALL of Fracture's organization right?"
"..."
"RIGHT?"
"Well. I'll stay with you as long as I can but I have my own assholes to hunt once I've helped you take care of Fracture. The Rake... that thing... it killed my sister... her husband... their kids... made me into this... Monster... left me for dead... I need to make it pay Picasso."
"Oh...." she said sounding disappointed. I mean, I'm sure it sounded like she was disappointed to anyone else. But I recognized her tone. The inflection in her voice. The way she said it... I'd heard it before.
"But I'll always come back to see you... help you when y-Grrrah.... Arrrgh!"
I broke through the door to try to get to Helrick as fast as I could but he wasn't curled up to Picasso anymore. By this point Picasso was already standing and she already had Helrick by the throat... and was dangling him over the edge of the building with one arm.
He was desperately struggling to get lose, although I don't know where he was hoping to go if he did get free. He'd just fall. One arm was on Picasso's arm, the one that was choking him out and holding him there. The other clawed hand wiggled back in forth at his side. From the bruising and blood, I'd have to say Picasso managed to crush that shoulder to render that whole arm useless...
He kept making noises and trying to talk but Picasso was crushing his throat.
I ran at her as fast as I could. I was gonna pull her back and try to bring Helrick back over the edge at the same time but I wasn't fast enough. She rolled her shoulder... and then threw him over the edge.
... To late to save him, I pulled out two tranquilizers and resumed running over. I injected Picasso with both of them. She just... turned to face me, started at me, looked at the needles I had stuck her with, looked back over the edge, and then just suddenly flopped over unconscious.
I decided we wouldn't take any more chances after that... I pulled out a bit of rope and I tied her ass down.
For good measure, I gagged her.
I rushed her down stairs over my shoulder and knocked on our door. Everyone seemed confused as to why I had Picasso over my shoulder. They questioned where Helrick was. I waved for them to follow me and rushed them outside.
From there we got a good look at where Helrick had landed... he fell into the tree below... and was impaled through the gut on one of the larger branches.
He was just... hanging there. His cold lifeless eyes looked confused and scared... forever staring out at nothing in particular...
The group broke into a small panic. We had to leave, now.
I threw Picasso in the trunk and we sped off.
She... managed to get the gag off back there. We could hear her back there talking to herself...
"You promised... Swore to stay with me... Now you'll always be mine... Always be with me."
And she repeats this to herself over and over again... between violent fits of giggles...
We just... We don't know what to fucking do with her anymore. We've been keeping her in the trunk. When we do actually sneak her inside to our hotel room, we keep her ass in the closet.
Its... not safe to be around her anymore. Shes just... all fucked up.
Painful as it is to admit, Fracture was right... but then again its his fucking fault shes like this...
... Moth out.
But I was hoping he was wrong.
Hmmmmpph. This blog doesn't really get enough love.
Where to start?
We've been spending a lot of time with Nat and her troop of goons including an old friend and flame of mine, Vallus, and my favorite brand of traitorous untrustible swine, Mr. Sloth.
Vallus is talking now, which makes her a wordy vow breaking convictionless... thing. Disgusting really. And as I understand it from what Sloth was telling me she didn't take the Rite of Shattering before she decided to start talking again which... whats a nice to put this? Its... truly... despicable? Yeah. We'll go with that.
If I didn't consider her a friend, I'd have broken that mask of hers against her face myself. I fear I'm growing soft.
Maggot, I don't know if you read this but heres fair warning. If I catch you wandering around without your mask or talking I won't just brake your mask against your face, I'll force feed you the broken pieces down your fucking throat. Stand by your oath or take the Rite.
Moving along.
Nat's an angry bitch but shes got a hell of any arm. Shes quick and she hits hard. And she can take a hit. We've sparred for hours. If I'm being perfectly honest... I'm more than a little interested. Expressing that interest, however, earned me a punch in the throat and in... well, other places. We'll leave it at that.
Suffice to say she isn't interested. And I can't say I blame her. I'm sure being masked, mute, or zealously worshiping an entity she has no respect for could be forgiven if I was doing just one of those things. But I do all of those things... Nature of the oath.
She seems real close to Sloth now which I'm convinced is a huge mistake. I've seen the guy set fire to a building with a squad of proxies inside to slow down the Archangel when it retaliated for the group of timberwolves we had just killed.
Not that the fire slowed down the Archangel, mind you. It trapped the rest of the team inside and Archangel went for the easier kill while we, as per Sloth's instructions, left. I would not be relying on him as I have been if he wasn't bank rolling our little coup against Fracture and even with that I still don't like to be around the fucker.
He was taken out of real management and sent on suicide missions for a reason. The man is a Menace. He keeps telling me things are different now but I don't buy that shit for a second and I'm more then a little afraid Nat's gonna find out what he really is the hard way. But hey, shes a big girl. And if nothing else, I'm confident when he does show his true colors she'll be more than capable of surviving it. Assuming he doesn't like... just shoot her in the back of the head or something.
And that brings us to Helrick and Picasso... current events.
So, after Helrick broke Picasso out of Fracture's little prison in the Compound he realized she was more unstable and unruly than he was able to handle. After much effort on both parties sides, he finally made contact with us and we Met Up.
But even with tranquilizers and all five of us taking turns watching and caring for her, she proved to be too much for all of us to handle. Her erratic behavior was driving us all to the point of insanity when Navi came up with a Plan, which she saw fit to put up on Nat's blog instead of ours.
That plan was to give Picasso what she was screaming for, Helrick. So we threw the lamb the slaughter and miraculously he wasn't immediately ripped to shreds. In fact, Picasso finally calmed down and stopped screaming every five fucking minutes.
I was so relieved to finally have some peace I convinced myself that maybe things could work out for them. If nothing else, maybe Helrick could stay just close enough to keep Picasso stable.
...
I like to think she, the real her, is still in there somewhere but on some cognitive level I know better...
It was my turn to stand watch for Helrick. He didn't feel safe in her arms when we first handed him off to her so we established a watch to keep an eye on the two of them in case something happened and Picasso suddenly went ape shit on him.
I will say it again, he didn't feel comfortable when he was first handed over to her. After about a day, the watch went from being something of a serious concern to mandatory sessions of watching a couple being way to affectionate for company.
Nat straight up refused to do it anymore and I don't know that I can blame her for that. It stopped being Picasso forcing herself on Helrick and slowly turned into constant face sucking and ass grabbing.
We started footing the bill for hotels so we could keep their asses on the roof where the rest of us wouldn't have to see them until our shift came up. Even then, I started sitting inside just on the other side of the roof's door so I'd only have to listen to them which was bad enough on its own.
"I love you" said Picasso in a happy loving tone.
"I... I love you too," said Helrick after taking a moment to decide how he wanted to answer that. It sounded less than convincing.
"We're gonna gut Fuck Face together. We'll rip him, and whisper, and DUCKIE apart!"
"Haha. That's right. Those assholes don't stand a chance."
"And then once they're good and DEAD... you're gonna stay with ME and help me dismantle ALL of Fracture's organization right?"
"..."
"RIGHT?"
"Well. I'll stay with you as long as I can but I have my own assholes to hunt once I've helped you take care of Fracture. The Rake... that thing... it killed my sister... her husband... their kids... made me into this... Monster... left me for dead... I need to make it pay Picasso."
"Oh...." she said sounding disappointed. I mean, I'm sure it sounded like she was disappointed to anyone else. But I recognized her tone. The inflection in her voice. The way she said it... I'd heard it before.
"But I'll always come back to see you... help you when y-Grrrah.... Arrrgh!"
I broke through the door to try to get to Helrick as fast as I could but he wasn't curled up to Picasso anymore. By this point Picasso was already standing and she already had Helrick by the throat... and was dangling him over the edge of the building with one arm.
He was desperately struggling to get lose, although I don't know where he was hoping to go if he did get free. He'd just fall. One arm was on Picasso's arm, the one that was choking him out and holding him there. The other clawed hand wiggled back in forth at his side. From the bruising and blood, I'd have to say Picasso managed to crush that shoulder to render that whole arm useless...
He kept making noises and trying to talk but Picasso was crushing his throat.
I ran at her as fast as I could. I was gonna pull her back and try to bring Helrick back over the edge at the same time but I wasn't fast enough. She rolled her shoulder... and then threw him over the edge.
... To late to save him, I pulled out two tranquilizers and resumed running over. I injected Picasso with both of them. She just... turned to face me, started at me, looked at the needles I had stuck her with, looked back over the edge, and then just suddenly flopped over unconscious.
I decided we wouldn't take any more chances after that... I pulled out a bit of rope and I tied her ass down.
For good measure, I gagged her.
I rushed her down stairs over my shoulder and knocked on our door. Everyone seemed confused as to why I had Picasso over my shoulder. They questioned where Helrick was. I waved for them to follow me and rushed them outside.
From there we got a good look at where Helrick had landed... he fell into the tree below... and was impaled through the gut on one of the larger branches.
He was just... hanging there. His cold lifeless eyes looked confused and scared... forever staring out at nothing in particular...
The group broke into a small panic. We had to leave, now.
I threw Picasso in the trunk and we sped off.
She... managed to get the gag off back there. We could hear her back there talking to herself...
"You promised... Swore to stay with me... Now you'll always be mine... Always be with me."
And she repeats this to herself over and over again... between violent fits of giggles...
We just... We don't know what to fucking do with her anymore. We've been keeping her in the trunk. When we do actually sneak her inside to our hotel room, we keep her ass in the closet.
Its... not safe to be around her anymore. Shes just... all fucked up.
Painful as it is to admit, Fracture was right... but then again its his fucking fault shes like this...
... Moth out.
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