Is it retcon if it actually never happened?
WHAT IS RETCON.
Like a comic book thing right? Pretty sure it means you're not dead. I'm retcon. Very retcon!
Couldn't possibly be more retcon. NOT EVEN IF THERE WERE TWO OF ME.
...I think.
Okay, maybe if there was two of me. But that's like, probably impossible. IMPLAUSIBLE.
You know who isn't retcon?
The lovely, lacy, and muscular LYS.
WHICH, if fucking BULLSHIT.
YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME. If you weren't dead I'd fucking kill you.
When I do die, I'M CRUSHING YOUR GHOST. With like, a ghost tractor or something... have to make sure I take a tractor down with me when I go.
Tractors die right? That's a thing.
...
So the jig is up! No more dancing. We're retcon.
Me, Moth, and presumably Navi.
Can't fucking see Navi but I'm assured by my mute that Navi is still there! That's... what the fuck is MY LIFE where that's a sentence?
Huff.
...
So... apparently Sloth has yet to give up his fucking phone and Fracture used that to figure his involvement in our little disappearing act.
Not that that would have mattered anyways as his bitch girl friend... thing... saw fit to BRAG about it.
Poor planning. POOR PLANNING.
Shes gonna get him killed... then I'm gonna gut her.
...
STORY TIME.
Okay, so LIKE, the Finest were closing in on us. Closing in on us real good. We were losing sleep and shit, had to keep moving, and everyone was starting to go a little STIR crazy from how long we had to keep ourselves crammed in the car. It like, SUCKED, and shit.
Guess you could kind of hear it in our tone, because Sloth picked up on it when we called to check in.
And he was all 'God. You sound like shit.'
And I was all 'Fuck you shit breath! At least I don't run around dressed like a homeless person covered in my own fucking VOMIT for authenticity. Go fuck yourself. And what the fuck was your little stunt on the roof! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE ON ME. I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! Do you fucking hear me?! I WILL FEED YOU YOUR LIVER IF YOU EVER DO THAT SHIT AGAIN. Maybe wear your skin. You have such nice skin. I have no idea how you pass as homeless for how incredibly delicate you are.'
And he was all, '... Glad you're a live too.'
And I was all, 'Whatever.'
And his bitch girl friend was all, 'Don't take that.'
And I was like, 'BITCH I WILL COME THROUGH THIS PHONE AND FEED YOU HIS LIVER.'
And there was like, 3-5 hours of fighting over the phone while we drove... or... I'm being told it was 15 minutes. But it felt like 3-5 hours. I fucking hate her.
And we hung up on each other in a huff.
I was like, huff.
Or... HUFF, would probably be more accurate.
Sloth called us again the day after that. Asked us where we were.
Which was highly suspicious. Sloth, is not to be trusted...
But I took the leap of faith on that one. Told him where we were and where we were headed.
He was like, 'Okay, I have three of my contacts coming to meet you. They're former masks who have agreed to break their oath to help us.'
'What?' I asked. 'That's like, IMPOSSIBLE or something right? I've practically skinned Moth alive once in loop. He didn't so much as scream.'
'If you can give someone the right cause they'll break any promise,' he assured me.
'...What did you DO?' I questioned.
'Nothing. They're on our side. We can trust them.'
'BULLSHIT. What did you do?!'
'Uh... just trust me okay?'
'Fine, but this still SOUNDS like bullshit.'
So we met them at a gas station where we switched cars.
They were dressed like us, dyed their hair like us, and honestly kind of looked like us.
One of them even had pieces of mask glued to their face to look like me. She was soooo cute. Hehe.
I'm fucking BEAUTIFUL.
So they kept on the path we were taking and we took off in the opposite direction and drove as far away from them as humanly possible.
And we've just been like... laying low. We've been hitting Fracture's men and points of operation but we've been disguised as feds.
He never even thought it was us. Dumb ASS.
We're gonna see if we can stay low profile and keep hitting Fracture. Probably means this blogs gonna be a lot quieter. We can't really talk about what or where we are hitting or he'll close in on us again but we're still on the attack. We're gonna win.
...
SAD to see our poor doppelgangers. Especially mine. She was so perfect in every way... so pretty.
I feel like... I owe it to them to explain what really happened to them.
So for the most part what the blog details over the last few posted isn't inaccurate.
They got cornered into a loop and broke the anchor behind them.
FakeMe and FakeMoth did not get along. FakeMoth was being forced to relive the same day over and over again and got tired of fakeME and tried killing her but FAKEnavi would retaliate and kill him and when they found out that FakeMoth was doing this everyday they killed him and tossed him out the loop to make it permanent.
Now, one thing that is different than what was portrayed, is FAKEme and fakeNavi could see and communicate with each other UNLIKE realme and realNavi.
They used the blogs to keep track of what they explored in the loop because they couldn't remember anything every time the loop reset.
But they stopped being able to come back and post for some reason. PRESUMABLY, Fracture was altering the loop the kill them once they had traveled far enough.
We do know for a fact he was CLOSING the loop down slowly until there was NOTHING left but the room they kept waking up in.
Fakeme couldn't handle the pressure... she threw herself into the monsters waiting for them in the Path.
FakeNavi was a boss. She kept to the mission.
They had explosives with them. The plan was for them to blow themselves up and take finest with them.
This, was Fakenavi trying to bait them to go into the loop so she could blow them up and hopefully kill everyone.
Its implied that what she got instead was burned alive.
Not exactly Fracture's style though... fuck face likes to take them in alive.
But I wouldn't put it past him.
So THAT, is the ballad of FakeNavi, Fakeme, and fakemoth.
They were true heroes and one of them was FUCKING fabulous.
They were too GOOD for this world...
Especially the fabulous one.
Picasso entry end.
