Monday, April 6, 2015

Well Isn't This an Honor

Getting to write on a blog?  This is exactly what I went to college for!  Oh man, April was right, I'm getting a rush just by typing out these words.  I feel like part of such a community.

Or maybe this rush is nausea because I'm writing in a moving car and motion sickness is an old enemy of mine.  Either way I'd like to end this as soon as possible.

If this wasn't clear, this is Slicer.  The doctor turned proxy turned hostage turned partner turned hopefully doctor again.  If that wasn't clear to anyone, that process STARTED WITH BEING A DOCTOR.  I had been a doctor for like three years, Picasso.  And I would still be one if I had gotten any say in the matter.  But noooo.  So yeah, already a doctor, hoping to get back to practicing, even if just for the cell.

Knowing these guys they could do with having someone to patch them up.  Tourniquet often needs more than just patching up from the things she does to herself, let alone going out on missions.  And honestly most of them could use a psychiatrist too.  Bishop's dealing with some serious trauma I assume since the kid doesn't freaking talk and she should probably have someone to help her with that.  Plus I already mentioned Tourniquet who's a complete basket case.  Having a homebody to just make her eat should improve the crazy chick's blood flow.

Seriously, I worry about these people.  They cannot take care of themselves.  Wal-Mart sells all kinds of fruits and vegetables and vitamin supplements but every time I see the cell they're stuffing their faces with the cheapest microwave meals and sugary snacks.  Being a proxy seems more dangerous to cholesterol at this point.  At least they get exercise.

Well, I'm getting off topic.  As we have told you like three times now, Picasso and Navi and April and some of their buddies who I haven't met are coming back with Tracker and I to our cell.  A "Fallen" cell, I think they've been calling it which is kind of rude, don't you think?  I mean, we're still here and running.  We're in the car now and somehow I'm the one who got stuck in the middle in the back.  On the frickin' hump seat.  AND I got passed the computer and told I had to update this stupid blog I've seen the girls posting on as if it matters.

Cause let me tell you, nebulous internet existence, I feel pretty stupid doing this.  I hope that this thing doesn't become like, a regular exercise back at the Mart.  There are so many better things I could be doing.

So I guess it's my duty to tell you that everyone's alive.  They are.  Very alive.  I could not ever mistake them for dead considering how loudly they are singing along to some painfully cheery music I don't recognize on the radio with all the windows rolled down so the wind is getting my goddamn hair in my eyes and I can't hear myself think.

Okay, maybe this blog thing is a bit cathartic.  Maybe I should write a poem about punching Picasso in the face.  That should make me feel better.



Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Procrastination for the Win

You know what's better than getting paid to babysit the most tame runner ever?

Getting payed to sit around and do nothing while your boss is arguing with your friend's boss to figure out terms and conditions to a mutual union of our combined forces.

In order to make April's weird dream of making Slicer's dream of being a doctor come true, the Free Market is volunteering us (Me, Navi, and April) and a fire cultist, and mask cultist to work with the Fallen cell down in Atlanta for their mutual benefit. I have no idea what Fracture and the Free Market is getting out of this. Just... creating dependency on the Free Market maybe? I suppose that's how the Islamic states of old and Romans did it. Not that that worked out for anyone in the long run in either case. But learning from the mistakes of history is over rated! I'm getting a new proxy cell to play with!

Eventually. I'm gonna be honest, I have been going to great pains to keep negotiations going and communication between our organization strained just so I can enjoy a bit of vacation time before they actually send me to Atlanta to do what I'm assuming will be actual work. But Fracture called to let me know everything to the greenlight today so I guess the honeymoon is over. Hate sundays. They're almost as bed as the coming mondays. Just this sensation of your freedom dying.

Oh well, such is proxy life I suppose. Live to serve.

I'm told there are a few hiccups. Apparently Slicer's boss, Duke, refuses to acknowledge April as a proxy. Which is weird. The old Bureaucracy system the fallen still worship was real big on making people who weren't actually proxies (Some had never seen or heard of the slender man) do proxy work so I don't see the issue. Play into your stereotype asshole!

Second issue, is apparently whether Slicer is actually getting that position as a home body is still up for grabs. Which is insane. Because that's the entire point. Feel like that part isn't debatable?

Final issue is Tracker is a smug asshole with a hidden agenda. He about crapped himself when I proposed this whole idea and I don't know why. If he was so against it, I don't know why he gave it an honest pitch to his boss. I don't understand anything he does. Hes hard to pin down. Something is definitely going on there but I don't know what his angle is. Also worry Navi might have a little crush on him or something? I don't know. Shes painfully awkward. I think Tracker might be the only person we've run into since we left the Free Market who isn't outwardly insane or an asshole and maybe shes just enjoying the company of someone who doesn't /appear/ to be crazy.

But I hold true that theres some shit going on there. Hes probably secretly as asshole... and crazy... I'd question if hes cozy but must things with a pulse are. Hell somethings without pulse are too. Shits cozy. It hides the crazy.

Picasso out!