Saturday, March 14, 2015

Hope Triumphs Where All Else Fails!

Yep.  I did it.  Nobody really believed I could, but I did.  Yay me!  ^_^

I mean, I read these blogs, guys.  Picasso and Navi, you know I read this blog and so I know you think I'm crazy!  I know you were just humoring me because it was your job or whatever.  But you didn't ever really think that there was any way to improve anything.  That's why you never tried to.  And that's why you secretly laughed at me for believing that with optimism and perseverance even a terrible life can be made better!

But this is why I always remind you all to smile :)

If things are bad now that just means that the only way to go is up.

Sometimes, it takes a little bit of work before it happens, but if that's all I'm here on this earth to accomplish then I will do it happily.  Helping others is all I care about.

I met Slicer (yes Slicer, not Slypher.  He's been bugging me about it and of course I would never want to do anything that makes him unhappy!) a couple of months ago now.  Time is hard to keep track of!  Not that it really matters, it's not like I'm rushing off to do anything important.  Just towards death like everybody else :D

When I met my friend Slicer, I could tell that he was in a really bad place in his life.  Sure, he was torturing me, but I could tell that it was really hurting him in a less physical way.  The old, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.  Because Slicer is a really really kind and funny person.  He's sweet and all he's ever wanted to do in his life was help people.  I couldn't let a person like that suffer!

See, I used to be a prison psychiatrist.  And sometimes when I would look into the eyes of people that had been condemned as horrible by the rest of the world, I'd see trapped, crying children.  I helped to free them.  I led them out and helped them smile.  I knew I could save Slicer too, and I have.

With everyone's help of course!

I knew that all he needed was to hang out with more of his proxy friends.  See, his buddy Tracker came to hang out with us!  He's here now, he's on the phone actually, and he's super duper nice!  He and Slicer get along so well, just like him and Picasso except less insults!

Remember when I said that Slicer used to be a doctor?  And that if we could just convince his friends to let him stop torturing people and start doctoring again it'd make him so much happier?  Well Picasso said that if the cell he's from were big enough they would be able to keep Slicer on staff as a full time DOCTOR!!!!  Isn't that just the most amazingly wonderfulest thing ever?

So Piccolo and Navi and I and some other peoples Picasso knows are going to be hanging out with Tracker and Slicer's cell family for a while!  I can't wait to meet them!  Slicer has told me a bit about them and they just sound AMAZING!  

Picasso and Tracker are on the phones with their respective bosses right now working out the details, but I can't imagine why either would complain.  It would make Slicer so so happy!  And a new adventure for the rest of us!

Not that I'm going to be a proxy, of course.  I will hang out with them and help them out but I will never do what that monster tells me to ever! ^_^

And so (as if more even needs to be added on) a list of things to be happy about today!

  • I get to meet a whole bunch more people who I can make happier!
  • My wonderful friend Carter is coming to America!  We're in Atlanta if you ever want to hang out!  (I'll keep an ear out for anyone named Sam!)
  • I have a SECOND rainbow dress!
  • Waffles!  Oh, and pancakes!  Breakfast foods are delicious!
  • Tracker and Slicer are reunited at last!  Friendship is Amazing!
  • There is an unending number of people in this world to make friends with!

And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.


Thursday, March 5, 2015

Free Slicer

Its just not as fun as a caged slicer. Or a free willie. Few things are more fun than killer whales really, and most are no where near as deadly. Fortunately slicer is also not dangerous free... so I guess this a wash?

... Dear god I'm starting to sound like PaKaSo... I wonder if delusional psychopathy is contagious... how would it spread?

Word of mouth? Does that make it like Mono? Is it a kissing disease?

... Ew... How the in devil did I catch that? I feel violated.

I... May have gotten ahead of myself somewhere in there. Lets scale back to old news first and at this point it really is old news. They were harping on that poor girl for days.

Devil and Picasso apparently weren't satisfied with Aprils insistence that she was happy. Between you and me, she wasn't. She was angry and sad. But would clear up and then they'd harp on it some more and she'd get upset again.

Apparently PiKaSo decided the right fix for this was to do something April loved to make absolutely sure she was happy. And if that sounds like something April would say, that's because it is. April seems to be starting to rub off on PiKaSo and it's freaking me out... at least in concept it is. I mean, not getting assaulted every other day for fun is nice but I keep finding rainbow notes in my pocket's that read 'smile' and its freaking me out. At least I can fight back when Picasso assault me. There's something to be learned there. But at this rate I'm afraid I'm gonna roll up my sleeves to do something and find rainbow 'Smile' graffiti coating my entire arm. Wheres the lesson in that? Its just fucking humiliating.

Anyways... So Picasso took April out to give her a surprise gift to cheer her up since she apparently loves surprises... which seems foolish to me. Surprises have been historically terrible.

Apparently, again I wasn't there so this is all second had really leaving you to question why the fuck I have to write this report, Picasso tried to surprise her with several things and the one that worked best was a new rainbow dress... April is delightfully simple.

I don't know that the surprise helped but I can say this, April is no longer sad or frustrated and Picasso spent the next two days giggling and smiling to herself like a fucking hyena... so says Slicer.

And that brings us to the topic I already ruined once with mindless rambling.

We had to untie Slicer. Fracture's orders. Picasso was not happy about that. From what I could tell, she threatened Slicer before she cut him free. I handed the poor dolt a laptop so he could read why he was being let go and relax.

He seemed pretty releaved. I don't blame him. I can't even see Picasso and I still find her scary... I wonder if thats why I find her scary.... huh.

After that they spent like, an entire hour cracking passive aggressive jokes at each other like a 70 year old married couple. Apparently the dutch are pig fuckers? I don't know. I could only hear Slicer's side of the conversation and shit got weird before it suddenly went silent. I had to stand up and make sure it hadn't got quiet because Picasso slit Slicer's throat or something

So yeah. Slicers free now... and apparently his friend Tracker is coming up to check on him and make sure we aren't miss using him or something...

He sounds like a total badass.

I'm a little worried. I'm the only badass around her.

Navi out