Thursday, March 5, 2015

Free Slicer

Its just not as fun as a caged slicer. Or a free willie. Few things are more fun than killer whales really, and most are no where near as deadly. Fortunately slicer is also not dangerous free... so I guess this a wash?

... Dear god I'm starting to sound like PaKaSo... I wonder if delusional psychopathy is contagious... how would it spread?

Word of mouth? Does that make it like Mono? Is it a kissing disease?

... Ew... How the in devil did I catch that? I feel violated.

I... May have gotten ahead of myself somewhere in there. Lets scale back to old news first and at this point it really is old news. They were harping on that poor girl for days.

Devil and Picasso apparently weren't satisfied with Aprils insistence that she was happy. Between you and me, she wasn't. She was angry and sad. But would clear up and then they'd harp on it some more and she'd get upset again.

Apparently PiKaSo decided the right fix for this was to do something April loved to make absolutely sure she was happy. And if that sounds like something April would say, that's because it is. April seems to be starting to rub off on PiKaSo and it's freaking me out... at least in concept it is. I mean, not getting assaulted every other day for fun is nice but I keep finding rainbow notes in my pocket's that read 'smile' and its freaking me out. At least I can fight back when Picasso assault me. There's something to be learned there. But at this rate I'm afraid I'm gonna roll up my sleeves to do something and find rainbow 'Smile' graffiti coating my entire arm. Wheres the lesson in that? Its just fucking humiliating.

Anyways... So Picasso took April out to give her a surprise gift to cheer her up since she apparently loves surprises... which seems foolish to me. Surprises have been historically terrible.

Apparently, again I wasn't there so this is all second had really leaving you to question why the fuck I have to write this report, Picasso tried to surprise her with several things and the one that worked best was a new rainbow dress... April is delightfully simple.

I don't know that the surprise helped but I can say this, April is no longer sad or frustrated and Picasso spent the next two days giggling and smiling to herself like a fucking hyena... so says Slicer.

And that brings us to the topic I already ruined once with mindless rambling.

We had to untie Slicer. Fracture's orders. Picasso was not happy about that. From what I could tell, she threatened Slicer before she cut him free. I handed the poor dolt a laptop so he could read why he was being let go and relax.

He seemed pretty releaved. I don't blame him. I can't even see Picasso and I still find her scary... I wonder if thats why I find her scary.... huh.

After that they spent like, an entire hour cracking passive aggressive jokes at each other like a 70 year old married couple. Apparently the dutch are pig fuckers? I don't know. I could only hear Slicer's side of the conversation and shit got weird before it suddenly went silent. I had to stand up and make sure it hadn't got quiet because Picasso slit Slicer's throat or something

So yeah. Slicers free now... and apparently his friend Tracker is coming up to check on him and make sure we aren't miss using him or something...

He sounds like a total badass.

I'm a little worried. I'm the only badass around her.

Navi out


  1. Aw, you think I'm bad ass? What a nice thing to say. I'll let you in on a secret, Navi.

    I am totally bad ass.

    You have a good eye for these things.

    1. Please stop flexing over the internet and just get here already.

    2. We'll just have to put that ass to the test when you get here.

  2. I can fill in the other half for you, Navi. Picasso was a racist bitch and my poor ears were held her helpless victims, sarcasm our only tool to lash back at the uncaring world.

    1. One, the dutch are pig fuckers. Just look at William of Orange, a great man who found his way to Dutch, English, Scottish, and Irish pigs. A legend in his own right. Few dare to know a such a broad selection of pigs.

      Two, fuck you! You were laughing your ass off.

  3. I don't see why rainbow smile notes are a bad thing, they sound like wonderfully fun surprises! Especially since your previous surprise was being beaten up! Sounds like everything's changing for the better, like it always does with the help of Positive Thinking!

    Besides, it wasn't just the amazing rainbow dress that made me happy, it was also the chance to make Picasso happy! Helping people is the best thing in the world!


The more you say, the less you know...