This is fucked. That fucking idiot. She couldn't just keep her stupid mouth shut. We could have just held out and moved out when the attention was well on and away from us but no. She had to brag. She had to blog and shell out so many fucking details.
The more you say, the less you know. The more you say, the more they know. The longer it goes, the more it tends to show.
Its such a simple part of the creed. You don't fucking tell them Anything. Its about the mystery. Its about the Fucking allure. It doesn't matter if all you have is your specific job. Your one specific order. Your one fucking thing to do with no details or sense of the bigger picture. You don't fucking share anything. A N Y T H I N G.
You reflect Father. We Masks.... us fake hollows. You stay silent like him. You stay masked and faceless like him. You stay Fucking vague and incomprehensible. LIKE HIM. Its so fucking simple.
That's what the Mask oath boils down to. Be like him. A voiceless, violent, faceless vessel to embody and carry out his will. WE are the true hallows. THEY are just hollow shells. WE picked this. THEY have it forced on them. WE choose it out of our dedication and love of him. For Father.
God damn it. Feels like I'm falling into HER mistakes. Fucking blogging. Sharing all this SHIT for the world. I'm even fucking typing like her. I think... uh. That thought made me want to barf. Being like that stupid bitch...
That stupid whiny bitch. She has not lifted a finger since we got trapped in here. Not since she broke her arm breaking the Anchor and trapping us in here. She's been making me carry her. She keeps screaming in my fucking ear when she wants me to do something.
"I'm HUNGRY. Find us food. FIND US FOOD FASTER. My arm hurts. Cut your arm off and GIVE ME YOURS. So thirty... NO fuck you. GIVE ME THE REST OF THE WATER. I NEED it more."
And fucking Navi. I thought the fit she pitched when we dragged her into the path to get to the loop was bad. She has been Freaking out since we arrived. She keeps banging on doors, walls, and windows as if one was magically gonna open into a safe escape route. And she screams at random. Complaining about 'little hands' reaching out at her.
And there is music playing 24/7 in this loop. Children chanting. 'La-lala-lala-lala-la-lala-la-la.' Navi and Picasso. They started fucking singing along. Or Navi did. Picasso has taken to Screaming it in my ear.
And I could take all that. I KNOW I could take all that. But the 'reset' function in the loop is malfunctioning or something. Rather than just waking up as we were when we first arrived at a specific time, every 24 hours we freeze in place and the loop walks us back through the entirety of our day and we're powerless to stop it. All the hunger. All the thirst. All the pain from walking. All the fucking SCREAMING IN MY EAR. All of it. I have to go through it all again. ALL OF IT. EVERYDAY.
I'm losing it. I... I can't take this. I seem to be the only some suffering through it because Picasso and Navi seem to be content to do the exact same thing EVERYDAY. I pray to god, Father, Zeus, and the fucking spaghetti monster that this post is still up in the morning. That I can show it to them and they can catch on.
Because I so tired of this... I just... want it to stop...