Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Never Not Slicer

Because his name wasn't Slypher.

Which makes sense in hindsight. What the fuck even is a Slypher? Sneaky fuzz?

... Where would it even try to sneak into?

Hmmm... I got it. It's a parasite. Hides on animals and pretends to be fur. Sly indeed.

Navi here, by the way.

I have quite a bit to report. All that fuzz was just the tip of the iceberg! Fuzzy ice!

First off!

We found April's tormentor. Or uh... well he found her. April and Picasso were reportedly out shopping for food when Slicer ran out of an alley and sucker punched Picasso and ran off with April. I have been assured several times that that is exactly how it happened. Picasso at no point left April unattended. She will not stop stressing that the me in texts... and notes... she wrote it in blood on my pillow for some reason. Very well drawn mind you. My cursive will never be that good...

After April was taken, Picasso called Aprils phone I guess. Apparently Slicer, again that's the proxy that's been trying to tormenting her, tried to pass off the situation as being her boyfriend.

Now personally, I would have been conflicted if I had been the one to have heard that. Because April says a lot of shit and maybe 10% of it is true and I'm never sure which 10% it is. I would not put it past her to decide her boyfriend was a proxy one day out of the blue. For all I know at this point, shes not even a real runner. We have not seen the Master once in all this time.

Furthermore, the boyfriend thing doesn't make one bit of fucking sense as to why he would sucker punch Picasso and steal April but whatever. Clearly that 'so totally happened'.

Hold on.... Mask face. Picasso's note here says it makes sense because she has pieces of mask seared to her face and looks scary. Why not. We're just gonna move on.

So after the call, Picasso came back to the room and used the computer to track the GPS on April's computer. We have it turned on for just such an occasion as this. April does, after all, have a nasty habit of trying to wander off without saying anything to either of us so this was kind of a no brainier.

And then from there me and her watched and waited until the cell stopped moving roughly 30 minutes later.

Picasso's plan was simple. 'Path' in and save April, I uh, was not on board. I don't care to go to that horrible baby infested landscape if I can help it. Picasso was quick to rip an entrance into existence for us and drag me through before I got the chance to book it out of there.

I could probably stand those trips if it wasn't for all the slimy little hands.... ew... feel like I might just vomit thinking about it.

I'm not exactly sure what happened when we arrived. I uh... may have flopped to the floor and assumed the fetal position. I can admit that because I'm not a petty mask faced child. When I had finally collected myself and pulled myself to my feet April was tied to a bed and some guy (Slicer) was on the floor with his hands tied behind his back with his nose magically squeezing itself down into an unnatural position.

I found out later that Picasso had broken Slicer's nose and was holding it for him after she knocked his ass over and tied him up.

I got up and let April free. She had several new cuts down her arms. Cuts that had already been sticked back closed because for whatever reason that's how Slicer tortures. He cuts you up and then he sews you back up. Never seen that before. Its weird.

She seemed so fucking happy to see us. Not because we had saved her, mind you. But because now would could finally meet Slicer and help him overcome his sadness. Because clearly that's why we're here.

We uh,... proceeded to immediately fail at doing that. Kind of glad we didn't try. Picasso's concept on happiness is very... carnal. I think that's the word. No, whatever it was she was doing instead of trying to do that, it was scaring the shit out of poor Slicer. He looked about ready to crap his pants.

I don't know what questions she asked but I know what the answers were.

(It's worth putting in a quick reminder here that I can't see or hear Picasso... important details.)

Slicer definitely does not operate alone. He admitted he was part of a cell and that his cell alone had as many as 15 people and that his boss, 'the Duke', has many cells in most of the neighboring cities. We probably could have taken a small little proxy cell on our own but not an entire little division of many cells. I was under the impression that independent cells like that (I hear we're calling those 'fallen' cells?) should be nowhere near that powerful so that was pretty concerning.

Rather than deal with that problem right now, since that's not what we're here for, Picasso apparently decided it would be best if we just fucking booked it as far away as we could in one night. Which made sense. 'The Dukes' influence couldn't possibly extend much further than a few cities.

So we gathered our things and took our car and drove all night. April spent a lot of that night pestering the shit out of Slicer trying to figure out what makes him happy. She actually managed to wear him down. The torturous little nerd likes rubix cubes. I'm told those are something like a puzzle box, only color based.

We probably should have just killed Slicer and been done with him... or since we're not allowed to kill just dumped him on Fracture/the Free Market to be hollowed and put in storage. But April has an awkward hard on for the guy. I don't know why but she really wants to make him be happy.

Picasso says we need to do whatever we can to help April so... I guess we're gonna try to help her. It all sounds kind of stupid to me though. I mean, I can see wanting to make your friends and family happy. But the guy who shows up out of the blue to kidnap and torture you? Fuck that guy. Seriously.

But what do I know right?

Navi out.

No comments:

Post a Comment

The more you say, the less you know...