Friday, December 7, 2012

Observation: Breathe

I'm feeling a little better. The monitor on this laptop's blue glow isn't taunting me anymore. Now its just glowing, illuminating my keys so I can find these words.


I've been watching Moth. Studying him. I don't understand why he is what he is. He's mute, he has black hair, he has a nasty attitude, he would sooner express a thousand words with a punch on the shoulder, he hates electronics, and anything a modern people tend to consider fun. Things he shares in common with Duckie.

Things I believe he consciously choose in order to immortalize Duckie's memory through himself. Things he does to immortalize the man who supposedly bled his screaming mother dry right in front of him when he was 12. Who gave him a knife and told him to kill. Who threatened to let him join his mother if he wouldn't. Who would beat him if he ever made the mistake of talking or crying. A man who abandoned him to be executed at the simple request of an organization he didn't care for without so much as fucking hesitating.

So I got to wonder, if Moth is so hung up on idolizing a man he should hate with every fiber of his being... THEN WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE TRYING TO HELP ME KILL THE SON OF A BITCH.


I spent a lot of last night studying Moth while he slept. Watching him as he lay over his blanket and sheets, giggling to myself that he was too stupid to figure out how a blanket works. So calm and peaceful. So free of his glare and his rage. Rage I know he carries. Rage I can so often see in his eyes when wants to talk but can't. Rage he can never express, that always burdens him. Gone, at least for the moment.

It's a wonder he can even sleep like he does, always wearing that stupid mask. It never comes off. Another thing he does to honor a madman. Certainly it must be hard to breath with that on, right? But I can see he is breathing. His chest rises and falls. Rises... and then falls.

Quite suddenly he starts thrashing. His own peace shattered without warning, even as he dreams. I can only wonder what he is dreaming about. He twists and he swings. Like he's fighting. Like the fighting never stops. Not for him. Not ever. Not yet. Maybe that's Duckie he fights. Maybe that's why he's here. Because he needs to be stronger. He needs to beat him. Maybe that is the natural course of his sick obsession with Duckie. With his sick obsession with a VIOLENT, ABUSIVE, SELF RIGHTEOUS MADMAN.

His sick obsession with the man who killed my brother.

Trapped in a dream where he must be dying after being turned into a monster leaving no one crying, not for him.

Suddenly he breaks free of the pillow I've been holding over his face. He takes a deep breath and pins me to the wall by my throat. His eyes are so full of rage again. But not Moth's rage. Not his own... it's his rage. Duckies...

Things go black as he grips my head and slams it against the wall he was pinning me too. 

I wake up tied to the bed again. Knife taped to my hand again. WASTING MORE FUCKING ROPE AGAIN!


  1. You could try not strangling him in his sleep. He'd be less likely to tie you up.

    1. That would indeed probably help.
      Maybe that and not providing rope
      in the first place?

    2. Pfffh. As if I was allowed to hold the money! THAT GREEDY DICK!

    3. Then each time
      he gets the rope.
      Throw it away.

      Maybe he will get the message?

    4. I'm sure he'd just pick on for wasting rope after I told him not too.


  2. You two are the most dysfunctional team I've ever heard of...

    Please try not to kill each other.

    I need you two to actually find answers.

    1. Observation: We already have answers.

      Correction: You want us to confirm with proof.

      Analysis: HE started it with his OBSCENE muteness.

    2. Well also find out why and what exactly Fracture's full plan is...

      The only answer you have is that Swan's still alive.

      I'm more curious as to why.

      But yeah proof would be nice too.

    3. WHY?!

      No idea. My guess, to murder people. Ugly Duck was good at that.

  3. Possible theory: Duckie was killed off by the tall guy correct? Well think about. From what I've understood, Moth's only reason for being apart of your group was to get revenge on Duckie. To have him get killed and not by his own hands would be like having your only reason for living taken away. Perhaps immortalizing his memory is some way to substitute it for the real Duckie and give himself some reason to continue living or some weird psychological shit like that.


  4. Don't buy into their drivel. Understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Can't you see the truth? Killing the dead is impossible. I might know better than anyone. Each time I tried I failed miserably.

    Is there no way to convince you? Seriously, what will it take?

    All this suffering you are putting yourself through is pointless. Little to nothing can come from it, save for your own death. I just don't know how to make you see. Very little can be done to change your mind I'm sure but I need you to believe me. Earnest as I can possibly be, Duckie is dead.


The more you say, the less you know...